JaN's BLOG

Sarap Sir goes to Baguio

2010-03-02T16:09:00.000-08:00

On February 21, one of my classmates from LOJ School of Leadership, Miguel Ramirez, invited to help him give a retreat in Baguio. He organized a retreat for over 150 participants who are college students from Saint Louis University-Baguio. These are students who are also leaders and members of various organizations in the university.

The plan then was to meet up at Cubao on Saturday, 8:00PM. We were with Francis Yanga, one of the Pray boys. From there, we discussed the program flow of the retreat, boarded the Victory Liner bus at 11:00PM to Baguio and readied for the activity which would begin at 8:00AM. Yes, that was the plan!

But the Lord had a different plan. The 8:00 PM meeting didn’t push through because Miguel said he couldn’t make it. Then around 10:00 PM, he called up, telling me the news that shocked my night. Miguel said, “Jan, I can’t come with you guys in Baguio, I’m diagnosed with Chicken Pox. Doctor wants me to rest for the next 4 days.”

Wow!

At first, I was concerned about his health. He said he’s fine but the concern now is the retreat we’d be giving to those 150 students in Baguio. “Will the retreat push through?!” I asked; and he said, “Yes! And you have to do it without me physically but I’ll be there with you the rest of the way.”

At that moment, I felt the strong presence of the Lord and that He is in control. Francis and I met up at the bus terminal, faithful that the Lord has a perfect plan for us in Baguio. We departed Manila around 11:00 PM and arrived in Baguio City around 5:30 AM. As per Miguel’s instructions, we took a cab from the Baguio terminal to the SLU Hospital to freshen up, heard mass at 8:00 AM, ate breakfast with our host, Tita Malou, afterwhich she drove us to the SLU gym.

We met up with J Yogawin (the one who organized the event in Baguio, who also happens to be my classmate in the School of Leadership). We barely had a meeting on how to run the day but with God’s grace, we have decided to divide the talk into three parts – Talk 1: Love Languages (Francis); Talk 2: God’s Love and Loving God (J); Talk 3: Loving God in your community (Jan).

It was perfect!

Francis and I were introduced since we came in a little late. Then I introduced them Sarap Sir! (I want to thank Jpaul for introducing it to us 2 years ago, may Sarap Sir continue to bless other youth that we will evangelize.)

We continued the day by splitting them into 4 groups, asked them to create a group cheer and design a flag that would represent each individual and as a group.

Kinarir nila ang group cheer! Intense! Competitive! I was surprised that they were giving their all in dancing, shouting, and even tumbling! To the point I needed to remind them of their safety measures! WOOHOO!!

But at that moment as well, I felt the tension among the groups of claiming who’s the best among them. I was reminded of my purpose of going to Baguio in the first place, that not everyone is not in good terms before the retreat and our mission is to remind them that at the end of the day, whatever differences we had in our decisions in handling the organizations, we are still all friends.

It was the first time I heard Francis and J give a talk and they were totally awesome!

Francis was a small dude so he’s kinda cute when we gave his talk about love languages.

J’s singing voice was moving. Kinilig ang mga students when he was singing different Tagalog songs, which referred to our relationship with God.

After J, I asked them to group themselves according to their organizations then I gave my talk about loving God in their community/organization. After which, I asked them to stand, pray for one another, and approach each person and tell that person I love you, I forgive you, Please forgive me.

Oh boy, I was just there in front, praying that the wall of pride would be crushed and be replaced by love.

I saw the Lord moving in the place as the participants cried as they asked for forgiveness from their friends. I was moved when I witnessed everybody telling each other those three phrases that were full of sincerity. Oh thank you Lord!

It felt like 30 minutes was even short because I saw them laughing with tears in their eyes as they hugged each other but I needed to cut them off due to lack of time.

This was not part of the plan but Francis, J and I had this feeling that a sharing of experience should be done. So we asked brave souls to come up in front and share their experience. I was moved by everyone who shared. One participant shared how he used to be in good terms with his friends after 3 long years and because of a misunderstanding, he had a falling out with his friends and almost gave up his Catholic faith. And now with a renewed faith, he asked for forgiveness for the wrong he had done. It was unbelievable!

The sharing went on for another 30 minutes. Unfortunately, I had to cut it short because of time constraint.

I witnessed that love erased all hatred and pride that day!

The last activity was the affirmation paper, wherein a paper will be placed at your back, then people would be writing good stuff about you! You can see the glow in their eyes as they read what were written on their papers.

Then we prayed for blessings and deeper friendship for everyone. Alleluia!

After the event, Francis and I went straight to the bus terminal for our 7:00 PM departure to Manila! I arrived at my house around 1:00 AM. Mama was waiting for me and she was the first recipient of my story about my experience. I went to sleep around 2:00 AM to get ready for work in the morning.

Father, thank You for the humbling experience. Thank you for using me to give and share joy, hope and love to your children. Amazing! I learned a lot as well. Lord, continue to use me more. Surprise me again, oh Lord! Amen! Sarap Sir!!!

JaN

2010

2010-02-18T18:34:00.000-08:00

Wow! It’s been almost 5 months since I last blogged. So much has happened, for sure. Looking back, I realized that a lot of things. The things that took place that made the past year so relevant…

1. Turnover of new Pentacord.
2. My participation in the Makati Feast.
3. My new caring group in the Makati Feast.
4. Boo’s surprise on my birthday.
5. 9 days of Simbang Gabi.
6. JC2x – Black2Black Party.
7. Christmas Parties.
8. New Year’s Eve Celebration.
9. The Tagaytay lunch I had with my Cell group.
10. First body shot ever in my life.
11. Appointed as Coordinator of the Ministry of Altar Servers in St. Andrew.
12. School of Leadership with Jon Escoto.
13. My attendance in Alabang Feast.
14. My attendance in the Spiritual Warfare talk by Bro. Obet Cabrillas.
15. Receiving a Hall of Fame award at work – an award given to those who didn’t have any absences in the past year.
16. Dating Mama and Papa with my Php5000 Electronic Gift Certificate.
17. My participation in WFMA.
18. First UP fair experience.
19. My 4th Valentine’s Day without a date.
20. Cable Car as the new place to be.

These are just the highlights. If I go further into details, then I would have to give up what I’m doing to enumerate every single thing that’s happened. Amen! Alleluia!

I would like to thank the Lord for 2009. I claim that blessings upon blessings will be received for 2010. I’ll open myself to opportunities for me to grow my finances, to activities where I can enhance my public speaking side, to events where I can meet new friends and learn from them. I’ll give my time and effort to improve the altar serving, to attend seminars that would enrich my spiritual energy, and to bless other in the way I know.

I’ve written my dreams and I claim it will be done this year. If not, then that means the Lord has better plans. If my dreams are not fulfilled, at least I’ll be a step closer to it.

I’ll develop myself to be a focus-on-the-good-side type of person. I would flash a smile everyday to my peers and even try to give a smile to a stranger. I’ll avoid getting angry, depressed, sad, upset, and all other negative emotions. Life is too short for me to feel these things.

My emotions would follow my decisions so that I’ll have the passion to finish whatever I’m starting. I will preach in different places this year – a minimum of 100 hours for this year! AMEN!! I’ll focus on the dream and on top of it is for my family to experience a debt-free life. Oh yes, Lord, I claim it will happen this year!! OPPORTUNITIES, I’m ready to receive you!!

One of the activities that our care group made was a dream board. I will post it at the wall beside my bed so that everyday upon opening my eyes I would be fired up to be a step closer to those dreams. I will always remember Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength…”

That’s it for now! Pray with me… If you’re reading this blog, list your dreams then claim it yours! In Jesus’ name! Amen.

JaN

Waterworld - ONDOY

2009-10-01T17:07:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, I woke up at 9:45 in the morning. I looked outside and saw the rain pouring down heavily, the flood slowly rising. I checked my phone and saw around 20 unread messages, asking if the prayer meeting in the afternoon would push through or not.

Tito Jerry called me up and told me that the prayer meeting needs to be cancelled due to the bad weather condition – typhoon Ondoy. Immediately, I started sending text messages telling the youth about the prayer meeting being cancelled.

At 10:45 AM, Mama told me that the flood had already reached our car in the garage. I told myself “Si Mama exage nanaman, eh ang taas na ng bahay natin, pano naman aabot yung baha”. After a while, Mama was in panic, asking me to get the tool box on the rooftop because Papa needs to pull out the battery in the car – and that’s what I did.

I got the toolbox, went downstairs and handed over it to Papa. I was shocked! I saw the water bumper high already in the car. Inabot na pala kami ng tubig.

Then my sister started shouting, Kuya! Kuya! Yung mga gamit ng youth nababasa na! The water already went inside the house. I could not believe it because it’s the first time it happened since we renovated the house in 1996.

Panic and adrenaline rushed through me. I used everything I got to carry all the youth equipment to the second floor of the house. I was carrying Carvin, Soundtech, Roland, Keyboard, Genesis, Praise Box, the brand new Ashdown and all other equipment. Ang bilis nung pag angat nung tubig. I tried my very best to save all the equipment but I got tired right away as well realizing that I was carrying it all by myself from the living room to the rooms upstairs. Papa and Mama was busy with the other furniture in the house (TV, computers from the shops, laptops, DVD players, VCD players, all other stuff in the house) then Jallyn was arranging everything upstairs and Adrian was in school (school was not suspended when he left the house).

I had the adventure of my life! All that time, I thought, hindi dapat abutin ng tubig yung instruments but the water was rapidly rising.

Papa tried to keep his cool seeing that only the window up is left visible of the car.

After I placed all the equipment upstairs, I helped my parents in fixing the telephone and cable wires, then we elevated the sofas by placing the chairs below it. We brought the food upstairs as well. Papa turned off the circuit breaker in the first floor of the house so we’ll be safe from being electrocuted.

The water rose up until the first step of our stairs. Water inside was knee high.

We thought everything was ok – that was, until the relatives of our boarder called Papa in his mobile. Since we were busy fixing the house and saving our things, we totally forgot we had a boarder stuck in the apartment (by the way, the apartment is at the back of our house). Ate Lisa (our boarder) could not go out the apartment, afraid of what might happen to her. Papa asked her to open the door and to bring some clothes just in case she would be sleeping in our place.

Papa and I went to the apartment - lo and behold the water was already up to my shoulders. As she opened the door, I saw the appliances (refrigerator, washing machine, fans) and all her things floating in the water. It was dark; Papa turned off her power supply before hand. We placed the refrigerator and the washing machine in a higher place. I placed her TV and other important things upstairs. Then we brought her home.

After that, I washed up and watched Teleradyo on Channel 26 of Sky Cable. I saw houses in Marikina with people already on the rooftops. I saw Metro Manila turn into Waterworld in a span of one day.

People say a lot of reasons why this happened: climate change, La Mesa Dam releasing water, heavy rainfall, poor drainage system, pollution, garbage – people even blamed the government for it. People were asking for Noynoy and Mar, and some are calling from other countries crying for help for their relative’s safety. Stranded residents called radio and television stations for help.

Defense secretary Gilbert Teodoro’s name was mentioned a lot in Teleradyo.

Now I know what NDCC means. National Disaster Coordinating Council. Oh diba?!

Death toll rose from 50 to 60 to 70 every hour and as I write this blog, it already went up to 280 dead people because of this tragedy. See http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/nation/view/20091001-227890/Ondoy-death-toll-climbs-to-280

Cars were being washed out like toys in the streets.

Cities like Cainta and Marikina were mentioned every time.

Text messages started coming in asking for prayers for their missing relatives and friends.

There are so many sites right now that describe what occurred last weekend. It’s really a sad experience for all Filipinos. But I also realized that the Filipino people are one heck of happy people because whenever they are in front of the camera, regardless of the situation, some would still smile and even wave.

I learned that the mere fact that when a person can still smile means the problem has not consumed that person.

I slept around 2am Sunday already. I was just praying while watching Teleradyo and I just told God to protect His people and to guide Adrian since he was not home yet. Since I didn’t know what to pray I just prayed in tongues and just continued telling the Lord to keep His people safe.

Sunday, we brought Mommy Lo and Tita Nenen to the airport because their flight was not cancelled that day. So we braved through the flood. Thank God, the van was parked in JP Rizal. It flooded there as well but fortunately, not enough to destroy the engine. Praise God! After the airport, we received a text from Adrian that he is in St. Andrew, so we picked him up there.

As we went home, Adrian said he had bruises on his feet, meaning it would be dangerous for him to walk in dirty water. So I just carried him from JP Rizal/Honradez to our house. I think I may be out of my league, carrying him home. Or maybe Adrian is just getting heavier each year. HAHA!

Anyways, our street is still flooded now. So I still have to brave through it later. HAHA.

I pray that we may see God’s perspective why He allowed this tragedy to us. May we not rant or be foolish about this but may we place our trust in Him that He has a wonderful plan in our lives.

In times like these, I always remember the prophet Job wherein God gives Satan permission to destroy Job's possessions and family. But because he was faithful, Job did not curse God after this but instead he shaved his head, tore up his clothes and said, "Naked I came out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return : Yahweh has given, and Yahweh has taken away; blessed be the name of Yahweh". So despite all Job's sufferings, his response is to worship the Lord.

I know we have questions like why God allowed death, why God allowed pain, suffering; why did God allow our house to be covered by the flood; the brand new car to be just thrown into the flood like that?

Well friends, I don’t know as well. But you know what? God knows. And that’s more than enough for me.

God won’t protect you from all pain but He will allow that pain to turn into a great blessing. The Bible says, All things work for good to those who love God.

I invite everyone to be like Job that despite this storm, sufferings, deaths, despite all the questions why God allowed this to happen - our response to Him is “blessed be Your Name, Lord.”

God bless everyone!

JaN

P.S. The rest of the pictures and video are uploaded in my facebook account :)

This is Jan, my friend

2009-08-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

Lately, I’ve noticed how people would introduce me…

Last May, I went to Boracay with my friends, Didoy, Mayi, Chris, Maan and Carlof. When we got there, we got to meet around 35 of Didoy’s classmates in med school. Didoy sure has a lot of beautiful classmates – makes me wonder why he goes to class everyday. Hahaha! (Love you, Mai!) Anyway, introducing me to his classmates, Didoy said, “Hi guys, this is Jan, my best friend.” So when I get to meet them again, they would say, “You’re Jan, right? Didoy’s best friend.” The conversation after that would just go smoothly as if we’ve been talking for a very long time.

**********
Three Saturdays ago, I was invited by my friends Carlof and Arya to attend Fran’s birthday celebration. I had the most wonderful time! Almost all the girls in the party are Assumption High School graduates, and most of them are studying in Ateneo right now. It was amusing, seeing them jump up and down, hugging each other, greeting one another as if they haven’t see each other forever. Hehehe. When I was introduced to them, Arya said, “This is Jan, my friend.” From there, everyone would talk to me as if we’ve been friends for a long time; they’d take pictures with me, dance with me, laugh out loud with me, sing with me (and the band, of course), and drink with me. It was amazing, to say the least…

**********
Last Friday, my friend Joker invited me to celebrate his birthday have some drinks with him in Glorietta 5. I had a prior dinner plans with some other friends that day so I told him I’d be there a little late. When I got there, I met his friends from Citibank, who apparently already knew who I was. Jok had already told them about me as one his closest guy friend when he was still in Rendition Digital. Once again, conversations with them were simply effortless, talking about life, work and everything in between. Haha! I had a great time being with them and I learned a lot from them, most especially the importance of balancing their time in work and time with their families.

(No pictures. HAHA!)

**********
There are actually a lot more stories I could share with you about how I am introduced as their “friend” and as a result of it, I got to know people and talk to them as if we have already known each other for the longest time. Since we were introduced as friends, we could share stories, get to know each other more, and laugh together.

This is why I really love the song “I am a Friend of God.” I proclaim to the world that I am His friend so He calls me His friend. Since we are friends, we are comfortable talking to each, it’s easy sharing problems with Him, it’s refreshing laughing with Him, and it’s very fulfilling to listen to His words everyday.

Friends, we have a constant friend; He is God. I believe that His love for us is constant and there is nothing you can do to decrease or increase that love that He has for you. But you have the power to say NO to that love from God. Maybe that’s why we are not happy sometimes because we put so much focus on hate and fear.

Always remember that He is God and He is our friend – our true friend. That means He tells the world to take care of us, to be comfortable with us, and most of all, to love us.

He declares this to the world. “This is Jan, my friend.”

God wants to tell you that you are His friend.

JaN

When Saying "I'm Sorry" makes a BIG Difference

2009-07-30T00:43:00.000-07:00

There’s this story I’ve heard years ago that I want to share with you. Let me tell you, every time I hear of it or read about it, my heart melts and I can’t help but break down in tears. Be blessed…

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know... Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $10.00?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often.

The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. 'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $10.00 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

End of Story.

This story is just a short reminder for all of us, especially to those working very hard in life. Let us not allow time to just slip through our fingers without spending time with the people who matter to us, with those who are close to our hearts.

The story goes, “The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.”

It was like a wake-up call of some sort. This one line always makes me remember one particular day when I was still in grade school. I watched the movie “Men in Black” starring Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. It was one of the activities we did for school and my classmates and I were able to see this film.

Friday of the same week, Papa went home, very excited, bringing out a video tape of “Men in Black” from his bag. He put it in the VHS player, very eager to watch the movie; that certain sparkle in his eyes was just too obvious to not notice. So there we were, as a family, about to watch the movie, when I said, “Pa, napanood ko na yan eh.”

I tried to tell Papa about the film viewing that happened in school but he got so irritated and grumpy, he didn’t let me explain. What’s worse was that he accused me of watching the movie in the cinema with my friends. He got so angry, he told me he will cut my 5-peso-a-day allowance so that I wouldn’t be able to save enough money to go see a movie.

Shocked, I ran up to my room and cried. I bawled. Really loud. I was so scared with Papa of accusing me of something I didn’t do. I just couldn’t do anything but cry for the next hour.

When Papa calmed down, I guess Mama told him about what happened in school. I told her about how I was able to see the movie with my classmates when I got home from school. Next thing I knew, Papa came in my room, sat on my bed and apologized. “Jan, I’m sorry naging mainit ang ulo ko sa’yo. Sorry na, ha.” He wiped away the tears from my eyes and we hugged.

Finally, with things cleared up, Papa and I went down and watched the movie with the whole family.

Yes, it’s definitely one of those moments I will cherish for the rest of my life.

JaN

Blinded by Anger

2009-07-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

Anyone here watches May Bukas Pa? I have to say, it’s the best teleserye I’ve seen because it focuses more on the people’s faith in Jesus.

Last week, I was able to watch a sad episode of the teleserye. It was finally revealed that Mayor Enrique (Albert Martinez) is the son of the people who were killed by order of Doña Anita (Liza Lorena), the mother of his wife Malena (Dina Bonnevie) and Selda (Precious Lara Quigaman). Doña Anita has already been imprisoned, after proving she was guilty of the murder that occurred in Bagong Pag-asa 30 years ago.

All those years, Mayor Enrique has bottled up all his anger towards Doña Anita and lived all his life, planning to avenge the death of his parents. Malena confronted Mayor Enrique about what she had uncovered and as a result, he admitted the truth to everyone, angered by the reality that he was indeed the son of the couple Doña Anita ordered to be killed and he would make sure that she will rot in jail for what she did. His anger was so intense, it was like a volcano already erupting.

In the middle of it all, Santino (Zaijin Jaranilla) cried out loud with a teary and angelic voice, “Mayor!”

If you are a constant follower of this teleserye, you’ll know that whenever Mayor Enrique hears Santino’s voice, he eventually calms down and Santino would bring out the goodness in him. It was as if Mayor Enrique sees Jesus through Santino and he couldn’t help but soften his heart of stone.

But this time, he could not be consoled. He told Santino that he has kept his anger inside him for so long, that he has waited to take vengeance on Doña Anita for so long -- that it has hurt him so much.

Blinded by his anger, Mayor Enrique chose to close his heart and mind. He refused to listen to Santino’s voice; he refused to listen to Jesus’ voice.

That was how the episode went that day. I have a feeling that as the teleserye goes on, Jesus, through Santino, will finally be able to soften the heart of stone of Mayor Enrique and in turn, forgive Doña Anita.

I’ve seen people like Mayor Enrique. People who have been blinded by so much anger inside them that they’d refuse to listen to reason. As a result, they make impulsive decisions, forget their values and simply get angered by everything. A lot of the negative realizations would fill them inside that they’d do the craziest things to let the world know that they are hurt. These people wouldn’t hear any explanations from anybody, they’d be judgmental and would only listen to what is being dictated to them by their anger.

See what happened to Mayor Enrique? For 30 years, he dedicated his life making sure that the person who killed his parents must pay the price. Despite Santino’s calming, angelic voice, his hatred prevailed.

Let me remind us all of what we already know: only in silence that God can speak to us clearly. This is not a mere external silence, but a silence that springs from within — an internal silence.

May Bukas Pa makes us realize that we are limited and imperfect. Exposing our own limitations, being at ease with them and presenting them to God constitute this gift of humility.

Only a person with a humble and open heart could come to God.

As we come more broken, the more we could honestly admit that it is only God who truly knows what is best for us. What is only needed is to encounter Christ in every experience, whether it may be a joyful or sad one.

To experience Christ is to see Christ in every experience, to see Him in our own stories, in our brokenness, and in our success.

Loving Father, help me to understand my life’s stories by absorbing the value of silence, humility and faith. Though my sin is dark as scarlet, I know that You will turn it white as snow. Heal us and set us free of anything that is not of You. I pray for a humble heart for us to SEE Your great plan that You have for us. — all for Your greater glory. Amen.

JaN

100 Truths!

2009-07-12T18:51:00.000-07:00

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage - Water
2. last phone call - Pencil
3. last text message - Pencil
4. last song you listened to - Friend of God
5. last time you cried - June 20, 2009

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice - Yes, 3x, 4x, 5x... Hehehe..
7. been cheated on - Well technically, hindi naman...
8. kissed someone & regretted it - No, saka na sharing...
9. lost someone special - Yes
10. been depressed - Yes, read my blogs.. HAHA!
11. been drunk and threw up - Ahhh... Yes! Yes!

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Blue
13. Red
14. White

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend - Yes
16. Fallen out of love - Oh YES!
17. Laughed until you cried - Yes, madaming times....
18. Met someone who changed you - Hmmm... Ask me again 6 months from now... =)
19. Found out who your true friends were - Well, I've got my cellgroup now...
20. Found out someone was talking about you - Hahaha! Yes!
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list - No comment....

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life - Lahat ata...
24. Do you have any pets - No, but I would like to have a dophin.
25. Do you want to change your name - Yes! I would like to change it to Zaphenath-Paneah, sosyal noh...
26. What did you do for your last birthday - CHAGAAAAAAANG!!! Go to >> http://pajengjeng.multiply.com/photos/album/392/JC2X_White_Party_12192008
27. What time did you wake up today - 5:05AM, bakit kaya?!! Hmmmm...
28. What were you doing at midnight last night - Usap lang kami...
29. Name something you CANNOT wait - Talk to my friend...
30. Last time you saw your Mother - 11:05:01pm
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life - Haaaay....
32. What are you listening to right now - Chris Tomlin Worship Songs
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - Nooope
34. What's getting on your nerves right now - None at the moment
35. Most visited webpage - My blog, Gmail, and Facebook
37. Nicknames - Jan-Jan, JC, Jan, Carlo
38. Relationship Status - Single
39. Zodiac sign - Sagittarius
40. He or She - He
41. Elementary - St. Paul School Makati
42. High School - Don Bosco Technical College, Mandaluyong
43. College - Mapua Institute of Technology
44. Hair colour - Black
45. Long or short - Short
46. Height = 5'10"
47. Do you have a crush on someone? Happiness lang.
48. What do you like about yourself? My odor.. Hahaha!!
49. Piercings - None
50. Tattoos - None
51. Righty or lefty - Righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery - None
53. First piercing - None nga eh...
54. First best friend - Rowel, kapitbahay namin...
55. First sport you joined - Swimming
56. First vacation - Naval Biliran, Leyte
58. First pair of trainers - Ano yung trainers? :D

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating - Banana
60. Drinking - Water
61. I'm about to - Sleep
62. Listening to - Chris Tomlin - Better Is One Day
63. Waiting for - Everything to be ok... =)

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? Yes
65. Get Married? Hmmmm....
66. Career? Hmmmm din! Hehehe....

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes - Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses - Hugs because I'm huggable!
69. Shorter or taller - Shorter, but not too short. HAHA! ...
70. Older or Younger - Doesn't matter as long as she's not first born...
71. Romantic or spontaneous - Spontaneous, I'm romantic na eh..
72. Nice stomach or nice arms - Whaaaat?! Nice stomach!
73. Sensitive or loud - Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship - Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant - Hesitant, it's the lesser evil... HAHA!

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger - Oh oooohh... YES!
77. Drank hard liquor - Yes! Last Monday lang... Thanks Jem!
78. Lost glasses/contacts - Once lang..
79. Sex on first date - Hindi pa... Ay este NOOOOO...
80. Broken someone's heart - Oh oooohh.. Yes =(
81. Had your own heart broken - Yup! Last September lang...
82. Been arrested - Nope. Thank God!
83. Turned someone down - Yes!
84. Cried when someone died - Yes!
85. Fallen for a friend - Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself - Yes!
87. Miracles - Yes! The fact that I'm alive today is already a miracle =)
88. Love at first sight - Nope! Infatuation at first sight!
89. Heaven - Absolutely yes!
90. Santa Claus - Oh yes!
91. Kiss on the first date - Well before, teenage years...
92. Angels - Yes!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf - Ahhhh... Yah..
95. Did you sing today - Yes!
96. Ever cheated on somebody - Oh ooooohhh... Well technically, No!
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why - January 2008...
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be - December 19, 2008 - JC2X White Party!!
99. Are you afraid of falling in love - Haaaaay, just felt my heart now... YES!
100. Posting this as 100 truths - Sure

JaN

Retrenchment

2009-07-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

“Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps His promise, and He will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions this week but this was, by far, the heaviest. Yesterday afternoon, the HR department of the company I work for called up a meeting. 17 people, 10 of which are my friends and schoolmates in college, were asked to go their office.

I left around 4:10 PM since I had to attend the BLD Prayer Meeting. Around 5:30 PM, I received a text informing me that all 17 people were retrenched from the company due to the client’s inability to pay anymore caused by the recession in US and in Ireland.

I knew it would be sad this morning in the office and I was right. It was hard flashing off a smile when you can feel the tension in the air.

I talked to one of them this morning. As expected, she’s still shocked and still in the process of accepting the fact that she doesn’t have a job anymore. But I remain positive for her; she’s still young and single, her boundaries are still limitless. She can still work in any company she likes or even pursue her dream of going to Singapore. She has the separation pay to invest on that.

But the heaviest was Sir Malvin’s retrenchment. He worked for 4 years already in the company (by the way, the company was just established last 2003); he is one of the best team leads I’ve known, he works his ass off night in and night out. He has solved the most difficult projects given to him all these years. He’s a joker, a leader, and most especially, a father to us all.

We’ll have a meeting within the day regarding the challenges that the company is facing now. It’s still hard for me to realize that my some of my lunchmates won’t be there anymore. Bear with me, let me just let this out and I promise, I’ll write more inspiring entries next time.

But for now, if you’re reading this blog entry, I’ll ask a simple favor. Please pause and have a few seconds in silence and pray for these 17 employees composed of programmers, testers, and web designers that they may be able to find hope in this time of trial in their lives.

Honestly, I’m quite bothered on who would be next to be retrenched in the company. There is no assurance that I’ll be a survivor but I just hope that if it happens to me, it wouldn’t be this sudden and leave me unprepared.

It’s just a heavy burden for me at this point.

Lord Jesus, I know that this is an unnecessary burden to carry but I just can’t help but to be bothered. For sure, I’ll miss my friends and if in the future, I’ll be one of the people included in downsizing in the company, help me to be still and be reminded that You are God.

Father, I pray for my friends who were retrenched. Kindly remind them that You have a wonderful plan for them and for their families and this trial will just make them stronger. Let them be reminded that they are Your champions – they have more than enough talents and skills to move forward despite all challenges that this life brings.

Help us see the top view (Your view) on our lives.

As we wait for Your answer, we will do our best with the gifts You’ve given us and stay focused on our goal.

JaN

The Countdown

2009-07-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ten things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (don't tell us who it is):

1. Galing mo! I wish I can be like you.
2. I've not been completely honest with you. I wish there was an easier way to tell you.
3. When you talk, I can't help but listen.
4. Hold her hand, she’s been waiting for it.
5. You and I will help each other in building the Kingdom of God.
6. FOOOOOOOOOOL!!!
7. I love laughing with you.
8. I've forgiven you already.
9. Please stop smoking.
10. The day will come that I'll hug you and I won't be the first one to let go.

Nine things about yourself:

1. Finally from 220lbs last April to 190lbs today! 20lbs lesser and I'll be in the normal zone.
2. Former call center agent.
3. I love to drink.
4. Buys two bottles of perfume a month.
5. Vain.
6. Happy Person.
7. Swimmer.
8. Leader.
9. Crush si Maricar Reyes. Hehe.

Eight ways to win your heart:

1. Loves to cook.
2. Loves to sing.
3. Simple.
4. Love tank is full.
5. Serves in the ministry.
6. Knows and accepts my shortcomings.
7. Open-minded.
8. Happy Person.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot:

1. Weekly Saturday Prayer Meetings
2. Feast every Thursday
3. Bills
4. How to earn by blogging.
5. What to say on a date.
6. Pencil
7. The ONE for me.

Six little stupid things you want to do before you die:

1. Preach in Araneta.
2. Kiss the Pope.
3. Play the guitar.
4. Take a picture with the People's Champ.
5. Do Bungee Jumping.
6. Build a Church.

Five turn offs:

1. Bad breath.
2. Poor hygeine.
3. Has tatoo.
4. Ma-reklamo.
5. Ma-irap.

Four turn ons:

1. Can carry herself well.
2. Communicates very well.
3. Mabango.
4. Knows how to commute public vehicles.

Three smileys that describe your life:

1. >:D< (huggable)
2. :-P (joker)
3. :)) (very happy)

Two things you wish you never did:

1. Slept in the middle of my birthday celebration.
2. Couldn't control my mouth when I'm drunk.

One confession:

1. Maybe.... just maybe if I wasn't considering to enter the seminary, there would be no hold backs, and I'd be crazy madly in love with you now...

Kuya Jan is not Superman

2009-07-01T16:23:00.000-07:00

(I composed this last June 15, 2009)

Kuya Jan is not Superman.

Let me start by saying I’m sorry for saying goodbye.

After the night worship last Youth Camp, I said something I didn’t realize would cause a negative reaction from some people. I said, “In behalf of the Pentacord, I would like to say thank you for the wonderful 3 years na naging Penta kami. This would be our last Youth Camp as your Pentacord for the youth. Thank you for believing in us. We will soon select the next leaders for our ministry. Let’s love and support them katulad ng pinakita ninyo sa amin.”

I was surprised to find out this didn’t sit well with some people. After a week, I found out one of the members saying, “Ah, hindi na pala ikaw mag Penta, hindi narin ako aattend ng prayer meeting.”

Why does Jan Silan need to be self-righteous?

Why does he make the Youth feel that he’s leaving?

Why does he need to make a drama?

These are the heaviest lines in my life. It’s like the blame is on me when people begin not attending the weekly prayer meetings; when they begin to feel they’ll lose a leader. In the simplest terms – iniwanan, nagpalit.

Lord, thank You for my friends who correct my mistakes. I love them with all my heart.

But allow me to vent out...please. This hurt is like a hard pill to swallow for me that I even have to blog about it to breathe. I don’t have a girlfriend to share this with; Carlof’s in Indonesia, Didoy’s in school, Dreus and Ryan are busy at work. I can’t wait for the next cell group…. I miss the tower, I miss the beer, I miss the chili sticks. ARGH!

I am writing on pure impulse, bear with me if I am no longer making any sense.

HEY!!!!!! I’m sorry if I made the youth feel that way. But honestly, that’s how a part of me felt 3 years ago. I felt like I have to take full responsibility since we didn’t have a permanent venue. Still, I took it in, I loved it, and I embraced it. I’m bothered that it seems like everything I’ve done good is forgotten because of my mistakes.

Fact of life, maybe! I’ve made a few mistakes but it’s big in a critic’s eyes.

I’m a happy person because I put focus on the good things that’s happening in my life and I’ll continue doing that till the day I die.

God didn’t bless us with a permanent venue for almost 2 years now.

But God blessed us with Santuario Bay Area, Minor Seminary, and San Carlos Seminary.

God also blessed us with a van that would transport the things from my house to the worship venue, money to fuel the van every week and Mang Toti, our driver.

Hey guys, I’m truly sorry. I feel embarrassed, somehow guilty even. That’s how I feel right now. I know that the Lord deserves the best from me, and Lord...this is the best I could give.

I’m leaving my post in a matter of weeks not because I’m tired of the position but because it’s time to pass on all the lessons, blessings, and miracles I received as your leader. But that doesn’t mean I’ll be inactive.

Usapang lalake: I’ll still be around.

3 years is such a short time in fulfilling all the plans and dreams I want to share to everyone. Alright?!

Kuya Jan is not Superman but maybe I can be like Optimus Prime (hehe… labo).

Sorry, I’ve seen the movie with Happiness. Haha!

Before you get confused, this is what I’m trying to say. There was a scene in the movie where Optimus Prime fought all the Decepticons by himself just so he can save Sam and eventually was killed by Megatron. But because of Sam’s love and trust he had on Prime, Sam did absolutely everything in his power to bring Prime back to life. And Prime did. More than that, Prime became more powerful; he could fly, there were new gadgets on his body and as a result, he defeated the Fallen.

(Movie is amazing, watch it!)

Anyway, for me, Sam is like the whole Youth Ministry. I will fight for you, be there for you, not tire to listen and share what I know with you. My friend is your friend and your foe is my foe as well. I can give and express in any way that I love you.

At the same time you can also be the reason why I’ll be down and sad. You can make me not sleep a week if you’re mad at me, you can make me lose my focus, you can make me over-think things because you are important to me. Your thoughts are important to me.

When you see me sad, one hug and a tap on the back or any act of gentleness would bring me back to life and with God’s grace I’ll be more focused, powerful, fruitful, and loving to all.

Quoting it from Optimus Prime “It's been an honor serving with you all.”

JaN

Youth Camp 09!

2009-06-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

After being disappointed by the bad weather that we had to postpone the original plan, we finally pushed through with the Youth Camp on June 12-13. I personally enjoyed the camp and the Lord had rewarded us with the Friday-Saturday schedule so we could still rest on Sunday before we went back to our work/school schedules on the 15th.

The weather was beautiful all throughout the Youth Camp! Amazing!

The Manila team left around 7:00am and arrived in Lipa before 9:00am.

We started with a morning worship led by Marvin. Beautiful exhortation, Bro!

Then we were grouped to our respective teams – Bosco Hall, Oppen, La Fuerza, Minor Sem, and San Carlos. The names of the teams were based from the different venues where we held our prayer meetings for the past years.

I’m part of the Minor Sem team.

By the way, the production team from Inside the Fish Bowl was there as well to cover the event. I think they will air the Youth Camp on June 20 and June 27, 7:00 am on TV5.

1st activity (We're Getting To Know Each Other) – We were asked to place a name of a food that would rhyme to our names. Mine was Jan – leche flan. Hehe.

2nd activity (I’ve Got A Picture Of You In My Mind) – This was where our photography skills were tested. We were given 20 items to take pictures of. An example item is “Flying”, so we need to take a picture that best describe flying.

3rd activity (Please Be Careful With My Egg) – 5 eggs were given to each team then we were asked to keep those eggs for the rest of the Youth Camp. We should be careful not to crush them and the other teams should not take it from us or else they’ll have a point. Then they announced that there are 5 more black eggs hidden in the camp site. Huge additional points will be given when we locate it.

4th activity (Ice Breaker “With Nothing But Your Tshirt On”) – A shirt wrapped in ice should be worn by our team captain. We were only asked to use hands to melt the ice then as soon as the ice melts, we can pull off the shirt inside then eventually wear the shirt. We placed 4th in this game.

5th activity (Flag and Cheer) – We were asked to design a flag and make a cheer that would connect to our theme “I Can, You Can, We Can.” We were given an hour to eat lunch, make a cheer, and design a flag. After lunch, we quickly went to the top of Galilee’s Place to do what was necessary. Kat Ramirez designed the flag while the rest made the cheer. As we were doing the cheer and flag, one of my teammates (Winston) was on the search for the black eggs and checked if he has a chance to sneak some eggs from the other teams.

At the beat of poker face, our cheer went like this:

Let’s have some fun this team is sick
Let’s praise our God in the Minor Sem
Let’s praise our Father Lord Jesus Christ
Let’s have prayer meeting in the Minor Sem

Minor Sem… Minor Sem… Minor Sem…

Remix….

Oh ooo-oh oooo oh ooo-oh

MmmMINORSEM…. MmmMINORSEM….Mamama
MmmMINORSEM…. MmmMINORSEM….Mamama

Praise our God!
Praise our God!
Let’s Praise our God in the Minor Sem
Minor Sem…

The team was amazing. All of us understood that we’ll just be doing this for fun and it will only last for 4 minutes, so they’ve got to give all they have! Hataw sa sayaw! Hahaha…

That’s what we did! We enjoyed the cheer! They danced! I DANCED! Akalain mo yun… the fun part there was that it’s recorded on video. Gosh!

6th activity (Can You Fill Me In?) – We played the Praise Game. It’s like Singing Bee wherein we will correct the lyrics na imamali nung singer. We placed 2nd in this game.

7th activity (Don't Go Breaking My Egg) – We had to create a parachute using only a yarn, newspaper, masking tape, plastic bag. Once we’ve done that, we will hang one of our eggs on it and throw it from the second floor. The objective of it is to prevent the egg from getting crushed once it reaches the ground.

I would like to affirm Trisha Herrera for designing the parachute. Amazing! She just used newspaper, yarn, and tape. It did the trick. All the eggs broke as it lands the ground but our parachute was the longest that stayed in the air. We placed 1st in this game.

8th activity (One Step at a Time) – It’s like a Snakes & Ladders game wherein a dice with number will be rolled, then the players will roll another dice with colors representing truth or consequence. If the condition is satisfied, we will move from numbers 1 to 25 depending on how many steps we need to move that was rolled on the first dice.

This was the game wherein it was boring in the middle stages but as the teams were about to reach number 25, this was where it became INTENSE; the friendly temper heated up, the Godly trash talk (pang-aalaska) was loud. Shouts of “back to start” as consequence were chanted… shouts of UNFAIR was loud specially coming from the La Fuerza team….

They were the most intense! We were also intense talking back to them… Hahaha… all the tense was there since everybody wanted to win…

San Carlos team already won 1st place but it was a battle, neck-to-neck between the teams for 2nd place. We placed 4th in this game….

9th activity (Worship) – We were asked to eat dinner from 7:00 to 8:00pm. Worship started around 8:30pm. I invited BLD Youth Lipa to join our worship that night. I’m glad to see that 20 of them were able to attend. I shared a short exhortation that night then the prayers in the worship were distributed between me, Trina, Didoy and Mayi.

The worship experience that night was one of the best.

After that, it’s free time till 12:00 midnight. Youth Lipa stayed for a while as the band played some songs. After that, it was just pure fun. the band played different kinds of secular songs; some ate in the canteen, some played in the field, and some cooked some food in the bon-fire…

Lights out – 1:00am…

Morning bell rang at 6:00am…

Breakfast at 7:00 am

10th activity (Morning Worship) – Costy led the Morning Worship. Beautiful worship, Bro!

11th activity (We Work Together, We Work Together, We Do It with Cooperation) – The Grand Relay! This is where I enjoyed the most in all the activities because everything was about team work. I think there were 9 stations wherein we needed to complete each task before moving on to the other then the team with the shortest time to complete the relay, wins.

The stations were the following:

1st - Lead Me to the Cross – one member is blindfolded as another member leads that person to the cross.

2nd - My Thought You Can Decode – bunch of numbers were given sequence of numbers based on the cellphone keypad to decode the message. (example: 4433555555666 = HELLO)

3rd - Bawat Bata May Tanong, Bat Ganito, Bat Ganun – the player is given a trivia question then the player has to spell out the answer.

4th - Sumayaw, Sumunod sa Indak ni Jowee – it’s like “Following the Leader” game wherein Jowee will dance then the rest will follow. Like the SHAGIDI-SHAGIDI-SHA-PO-PO game. Hehe. This is where I played.

5th - Rollin' – the objective was to hit a marble with another marble.

6th - Take the Blindness from My Eyes – the player is simultaneously flashed in the eyes while he or she needs to find something in the book.

7th - Disturbia.. Am I Scaring you Tonight? – it’s a fear factor challenge. A variety of nasty food will be served then the players should eat it.

8th - I'm a Model, You Know What I Mean – the player will do a “hilocopter” 10 times then will wear a dress and then will go on the runway and do the cat walk.

9th - Take Me Deeper as You Fill Me Up Inside – everyone will have to swim in the pool then we will fill up two 1.5 liters of coke bottles using only the shirts we’re wearing.

After the grand relay, the boys played in the pool, ate lunch, washed up then packed the things to get ready in going home.

Before we went home around 2:00 pm, we first had our Awarding Ceremony. This has been a tradition in all Youth Camps; awarding individual people if they’ve done unforgettable things during the camp and of course announcing the Grand Champion for the camp.

5th place – San Carlos – when this was announced, La Fuerza (the intense team) remained quiet and tensed as usual but Oppen bldg went wild for they expected to be the last placers because they did not win any of the games during the camp.

4th place – La Fuerza – when this was announced, they shouted UNFAIR UNFAIR, but they smiled when pictures where taken already. And again, Oppen bldg jumped up and down because they were surprised not to be in the bottom two.

3rd place – Bosco Hall – Oppen bldg screamed at the top of their lungs when they heard this! You can see them jumping up and down like they won a championship game. I even joined them in jumping – ang saya nila tignan eh.

Before announcing the grand champion, Mayi (Oppen) and I (Minor) were asked to come up in front. Marvin announced that 1,000,000 points separated the 1st placer and 2nd placer.

“Our Grand Champion for Youth Camp 09 is team…… ”

Drum roll….

…………

………..

MINOR SEM!

Yeah! Both teams jumped up and down – because one team became champs while the other team didn’t expect to be second.

Oppen Bldg went 2nd and we were crowned CHAMPIONS for this year’s Youth Camp.

How did we become champions? It’s because of the EGGS. The EGGS saved us.

We were given 5 eggs, one was stolen by the other team, one broke because of the 7th activity (Don't Go Breaking My Egg), and one broke by accident (one of teammates forgot that he was holding an egg then as he went down the stairs, he held on the steel bar of the ladder and broke the egg).

As a result, we had 2 eggs left.

But we were able to find ways to sneak 2 eggs from the other team plus Winston was able to find 2 of the 5 black eggs around Galilee’s place.

So we had 6 eggs with 500,000 points each. I can’t remember the exact figures but without the eggs, La Fuerza could have won it because they already gathered 3,000,000 points without the eggs while our team garnered 2,000,000 points. But because of the additional 3,000,000 points (all thanks to the 6 eggs), we gathered around 5,000,000 points at the end of the camp. Yey!

The facilitators explained the reason why the eggs had huge points is because it’s the hardest activity in the whole camp. The responsibility of taking care of the eggs in all activities. Even when you go to sleep or take a bath or brush your teeth and all other things, the team had the responsibility to guard their eggs.

Oh well, after 5 Youth Camps, I finally won the Grand Prize. Hehe… I had an amazing team. We followed the instructions, did not complain a thing to the facilitators, enjoyed every game, have known each other more (talents and skills), and most importantly, we saw Jesus in one another.

We also made new friends during the camp and I think this friendship will go a long way.

We closed the Youth Camp with a short prayer of thanksgiving.

I would like to affirm the facilitators – Marvin, Jowee, Eka, Jpaul, Miguel, Costy, Jon, Jeff, Berna, Mariel, and AR. They’ve done an excellent job from all the planning, transportation, and execution of games. I know that it was not easy facilitating a camp but you guys were awesome! You handled it very well….

Tap on the back guys! May God bless you always!

Lord Jesus, thank You for a wonderful Youth Camp. It’s my last camp as Your Pentacord for the Youth. You taught us a lot of things in a span of 2 days – super thanks po, Lord! Thank You for we made new friends. May we bring this joy to our families and other friends and tell the whole world that it’s fun being in a community.

Till the next Youth Camp! Amen.

JaN

P.S. More pictures can be accessed in the following sites:

http://bldyouth.multiply.com
http://jappyjaps.multiply.com
http://migma.multiply.com/
http://pajengjeng.multiply.com/
http://joycecedeno.multiply.com/
http://sipin.multiply.com

Enjoy!

I Joined The Ayala Basketball League

2009-06-03T23:53:00.000-07:00

My officemate, Lee Uy (#7), asked me and Reggie (#8) to join his basketball team and represent AIG company in the Information Technology Basketball League (ITBL). AIG won the championship last year and that adds the pressure on me coming in as a newbie in the team. Also, Lee won the MVP award for the season and finals last year. He is an amazing basketball player.

I sported the number 4 on my jersey since it was her number as well in her volleyball team.

The other teams were RCBC, Metrobank, BDO, BPI, RSUN, AIU, HP, OZAWA, and CHINATRUST. RCBC was runner up in last year’s finals.

All the games were held at the Philippine Stock Exchange court.

Surprisingly, our team and RCBC was the opening game of the season. We lost by 17 points in our first game. Jan Silan scored 0 points. Hehehe… I injured my left knee in this game as well. Argh!

Well anyway, my best game in the tournament was against Metrobank. I scored 22 points in this game. The team was not complete we only had an 8-man rotation in this game so my coach did not have much choice but to give me a lot of playing time. This was the dirtiest game I played in my whole life - our opponent keeps throwing elbows, holding our shirts secretly, stepping on our shoes, and worst, they were talking trash to us.

Our center, Kevin, lost his temper in this game (early in the 3rd) and was thrown out because of his continuous complaints to the referees.

Now it’s a 7-man rotation for us.

But that did not matter because this was one of those games wherein I felt that I can make every basket I threw. And I did. Lee scored 30+ in this game – he was really a monster. He gave me the ball on every opportunity he sees me open in the 3 point line.

I thank all the guards and janitors who watched that game because they were really rocking the whole place when we gained momentum.

I hit 2 consecutive 3-pointers under 30 seconds in the 4th quarter to give us the lead (3 pt lead) for the first time in the game. But we did not defend well in the next possession, allowing them to hit a 3 pointer. Offense team - my teammate of the bench (you know who you are… haha… peace na kayo ni Lee diba?!) surprisingly took a jumper from left wing – AIR BALL.

Time out Metrobank.

One last stop! DEFENSE.

Our opponent drove to the lane, took an awkward lay-up, wherein it seemed like we defended them well until we heard the whistle of the ref.

Foul on Lee. Our opponent hit his 2 charities.

No time out for AIG.

The idea was to get the ball to Lee and let him create…

Lee caught the ball…. under 7 seconds….

Dribble…

Dribble….

Then he shoots a 3 pointer in the right wing….

TIME EXPIRES….

Ball is still live…

It MISSED, a little short in the right rim.

We lost by 2 points…

That was our 3rd loss in the elimination.

On the happier side of events, after the eliminations, we ended up having a twice to beat advantage against HP, wherein we won it.

Then we faced Metrobank again in the semi-finals knock out game. But this time, our team was complete, our coach had a comfortable rotation of players, we won by 10++ points (can’t remember the stats).

We entered the Championship round.

Guess what! For the 2nd straight year its AIG vs RCBC in the Championship game. Our team’s style of play is really run-and-gun because we have a small lineup. RCBC’s game was the “setup the offense” type of play. Veterans. They are bigger, stronger and some of them do a lot of trash talking as well.

It was best of 3.

Game 1 – WE LOST! Jan Silan 0 points. hahaha… No playing time. We lost by 10+ points.

Game 2 – WE WON! Jan Silan 0 points. hahaha… No playing time. We won by 3 points.

Game 3 – We were really lucky playing for a 3rd game because RCBC really dominated us on the inside. Our big men were not able to respond to their dominance. We played it through – Lee won’t just give up the championship that easily.

Coach gave me 2 minutes of playing time in the second quarter and delivered 5 points. But they had an answer to everything we throw at them.

RCBC won the championship by 10+ points but our heads were held up high for we knew we gave everything we got. They were just the better team this year.

Pictures from the Championship Games below:

eto si Andres... this is the kind of player na maglalaro lang para sirain yung laro namin... he taunted, played dirty, talked trash, cheap shot na suntok, name it!

Me and Kevin on a rebound play...

This is RJ! He runs the fastest among us... he is also part of the Mythical Team...

Team giving high fives after a shot...

Game 3 - Asked to seat down after playing for 2-3 minutes...

Lee complaining to the referees after being hacked by Andres..

Coach giving instructions...

Team huddle at halftime..

We used Gatorade bottles to design our defense... Naaah... we still lost!

......

This is Kevin dunking the ball on a fast break play...
......
......

This is RJ! Trying to do the same dunk Kevin did in the game... hahaha... nilabas na niya lahat ng frustration niya sa pagkatalo namin... =)

After a week, the awards were announced and to our surprise, Lee was named MVP of the season. He got the majority of the votes from the Captain Balls of the other teams.

Well, it was really fun playing the game I constantly want to improve on. The game of basketball! It was really nice playing it with my AIG teammates, Lee, and Reggie. I gained confidence to shoot the ball more and I gained experience on how to play in this kind of leagues.

Thank you, Lord! I promise that I will use everything I learned for the next games that I’ll be playing.

Next basketball games: First is the Rendition Digital Basketball League wherein the boys of the company will be competing with each other as a fellowship activity. I might be playing against Lee in this league. Second is the Rufino Basketball League wherein Rendition Digital will compete with the other companies residing in Rufino Building.

I am so excited!

JaN

LAZINESS by Jan Silan

2009-06-01T20:11:00.001-07:00

Gosh! I only uploaded one blog each for April and May. My friends are already asking what’s going on and why my blog has not been updated and all.

I could have said I didn’t have time, or I didn’t have anything to right about, or I wasn’t inspired and all other excuses but I know I would be lying if I say those things.

I’ve been LAZY! Yeah that’s what it is. LAZY!

Many things happened for the past 2 months – Ate Cla’s wedding, my first Boracay experience, the Ayala basketball tournament, Lipa YLSS 2 and this weekend, we’ll be having our Youth Camp ’09.

I promise I’ll be writing about those stuff WITHIN THE MONTH!

Guys, I’m sorry for being lazy. I preached out to the BLD youth that one of the seven deadly sins is SLOTH, which is also known as laziness; putting off what God asks you to do, or not doing it at all.

Again, I’m sorry….

Take care everyone! Keep on blogging!

JaN

Sarap? SARAP SIR!

2009-05-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

On April 25-26, we held our Youth Life in the Spirit Seminar (YLSS) # 28 at San Carlos Seminary with 69 graduates. My cell groupmate, Didoy, headed the event. Proud of you, bro! Awesome job!

The weekend went smoothly.

Our spiritual director, Father Larry, was still difficult to handle but still very effective for the lambs.

Shepherding was great.

Food was awesome.

The ministries were responsible.

The Lord was magnified in the place the whole weekend.

I took my YLSS in year 2000 and I’ve served every YLSS since then. Last year, I headed YLSS # 27 with 87 graduates. Truly, every YLSS is sweeter than the YLSS before. All the mistakes from last year’s YLSS were corrected in this year’s YLSS, and all the mistakes in this year’s YLSS will be corrected in next year’s YLSS. It’s a continuous improvement.

Well, this year’s YLSS is special for me and I guess for Mayi, Trina, Muriel and Didoy as well because it’s our last year to serve as leaders for BLD Youth. By July or August, a new set of Pentacords will take over to lead this amazing Youth Ministry.

Ang bilis lang pala ng 3 years. I can still remember being annointed as Pentacord for Management in Santuario 3 years ago. Now, I’m almost done with my term. Some more projects like the Youth Camp, Youth Manual, Proper Transition of Youth to Singles, and Concert.

After that, I’ll kiss my post goodbye as Pentacord for Management.

I’ve learned a lot. I’ve grown spiritually and physically. Hehehe… pero bumabawi na ako… nagpapapayat na eh… :D

I would like to thank the Management team (Registration, Food, Logistics and Marshalls) for your passion and willingness to serve this year’s YLSS. Superb job everyone!

Registration – Jallyn and Ave, thank you! What you guys are doing is not easy. Everyday, we update the number of working teams and lambs, shop for the things needed every Saturday and also for the seminar weekend, organize the seat plan, print and cut the IDs and all other reg stuff you do. Thank you for your patience and support.

I would like to thank Zayin for heading this ministry last YLSS 26 and 27. Thank you for your leadership and cheerful attitude for the past 2 years.

Logistics and Marshalls – Jpaul and AR, mga pare! Salamat! Thank you for keeping order and discipline during the weekend. For all the planning, cleaning, setting up, and packing up that we’ve done together, thank you! May you not tire in serving the Lord. You carried this YLSS. Literally. Serve pa tayo!

I would also like to thank Kimmy and Pia Suiza for heading the ministry for the past years. For all your efforts, thank you.

Food – Jowee and Marvin, haaay… can’t ask anything more from you guys. Thank you for pouring out your love for this ministry. Thank you for budgeting our food, for maintaining order in the food area, for keeping it clean and for making us laugh. It’s not only our stomachs you are filling, but also our hearts. I’m proud of you both. Amazing! Everybody was able to eat during the weekend. Thank you also for all the creativity you’ve done in the food area.

Lord, thank You for giving me the privilege in serving with these guys. I’ve worked with them for the past years and they’ve been humbling.

Help us to achieve our final plans for this ministry.

Ikaw na po bahala kung saan kami next pwede mag serve for You.

Visit http://bldyouth.multiply.com for the pictures.

SARAP mag serve kay Lord, di ba? Sarap SIR!

JaN

BALER Getaway

2009-04-22T16:56:00.000-07:00

After the tiring 8-hour drive from Makati, we finally arrived in Baler, Aurora around 8:00 in the morning last Saturday. We checked in at Bay’s Inn Resort, placed our bags in our rooms, ate breakfast, rested for a while, and finally went off to begin our great surfing experience.

Bay's Inn Resort

I was a competitive swimmer back in high school. I know how to swim, basically. Hehe. But man! I got a lot of things running in my mind like, Can I glide in the water on a surfing board? Or can I even stand on it? Will I just embarrass myself?

Good thing the MAHDOX Surfing School Instructors were the friendliest people. It is supervised by Rommel “Okoy” Rojo, an 11-time Men’s and Junior’s Event Champ in surfing.

First, they taught us the different parts of the surfing board – the nose, rails, deck, tail, and fins. After which, they told us about the technique on the proper way to stand on the board as the wave pushes us. The orientation took only five minutes of our time… probably because we’ll get the lessons we need once we’re in the water. Now, we’re set to put our surfing talents to the test.

We are given instructions on how to stand on the surfboard.

The instructor showing us how to paddle.

Trying to learn the basics of surfing.

Ohhh boy! I was not successful in standing up in the surf board. After an hour of being unsuccessful, I got frustrated, tired, thirsty, and burned by the heat (figuratively speaking, that is). It didn’t help either to see my friends who were able to stand up, glide, smile, enjoy, and raise their hands with great delight because they were able to surf properly.

Trying my very best to stand up and balance.

Tired..... but still smiling..

I told myself I won’t give it a try any longer for the rest of the weekend. I kept thinking that I’m just too heavy to lift myself.

But I did not let my officemate notice my frustration and let it ruin the weekend.

After lunch, Bart (the one who introduced BALER to us) brought us to Cunayan Falls. I instantly fell in love with it the moment I saw its simplest structure. The water was so clear even though a lot of people already swam there that day. All my frustrations for not being able to stand on the surfboard earlier vanished as I pleasure myself swimming in the falls.

I was like a kid enjoying the water from the falls that fell on my shoulders. Some of us even did a reenactment of the baptism of Jesus. Hehe…

This is me... just loving the water as it falls on my shoulders.

Me and Bert...

Gay pose.... HAHAHA...

After swimming in the falls, we went back to the resort but my officemates wanted to do one more hour of surfing (See! They really enjoyed it!). This time, I begged off. I didn’t want to be frustrated again after enjoying my swim. So this time I just took some pictures and videos as they learned how to surf.

Well, I had a great time taking videos, especially after seeing them struggle and fall from the board. Hehehe… Those are the kinds of videos that I’ll get profit if I send it to “Bitoy’s Funniest Videos.” I had a handful of videos which I think they will upload on Youtube.

But I also saw others (especially the thinner ones) able to stand and glide after they fell off for more than 10 times. As the hour of surfing ends, I saw a lot of improvement on their balance, posture, and poise as they glide with the waves. Amazing!

In the evening, we just ate dinner together with the team, then had a few rounds of beer, and fell asleep around 10:30pm. There was no night life in the place at all. Almost everyone in the resort was asleep by 10:00pm. Our bodies were tired after all the activities.

Shocks! Evidence... Sorry Carlof... Sorry Jem... SooooOooo?!! hehehe... :D

I woke up 6:00am on Sunday morning. I decided to go out to the beach by myself, breathed the fresh air in, did some morning stretches...and went back to sleep again. Hehehe…

My officemates woke me up around 10:00am inviting me to join them for a last hour of surfing. Ohhh boy! Sinulit talaga nila yung Baler!

Here we go again.

Surfing.

Questions again were bugging me; I felt my self-confidence drop to an all-time low; can I finally stand on the surfboard and balance myself?

I saw my instructor the other day looking at me, as if he was thinking, Please don’t pick me. You’re a hard student. But when I raised my hand to him, he acknowledged it, approached me and said “Sir, akala ko hindi ka na babalik eh kase kahapon hindi ka nag surf nung hapon, tara na sir! Let’s game sir!

Those were his exact words. It feels like he’s disappointed at himself from Saturday’s surfing lesson because I didn’t learn. But I also felt that my instructor wouldn’t give up on me, it gave me that boost of confidence I needed that I could pull this off.

My first try – my instructor said “Sir ready…” as the wave was fast approaching… “Ready.” The wave hit us; my instructor pushes the surfboard, then he shouted “Sir, TAYO! TAYO!” The surfboard was already moving with the waves. I was able to kneel down (steady now)… I was trying to stand up (steady…)…and then…I fell again. Tsk! Lost my balance.

But instead of getting frustrated, I went back to the board, all excited, waiting for the next wave.

Second try. The wave was fast approaching again… “Ready…” The wave hit us; my instructor pushes the surfboard, he shouted again “Sir, TAYO!” Kneel down, check. Stand up, check (Yes! I was finally able to stand up!)…and then…I collided with my officemate. I fell again and lost my balance.

My officemate and I laughed as we scratched our heads on what had just happened.

Now, I’m really excited for the third try because I knew that I can stand on the surfboard. I finally knew how good it felt when a successful surf was made.

Third try. My instructor said “Sir ready…” The wave was fast approaching... “Ready…” The wave hit us; he pushes the surfboard, then he shouted “Sir, GO! TAYO!” The surfboard moving with the waves…. I was able to stand fast...I balanced myself...and then...and then...glide as far as the waves can go. AMAZING!

I heard my instructor cheering! He told me, “Oh ano sir, kayang kaya mo na!”

Then the next waves were just pure fun already! I was now able to join my teammates in their games like patagalan na nakatayo sa surf board. Hehehe. I did not feel the 12:00nn sun burn because I was having a great time surfing, gliding, cheering, and making high fives with the other surfers as we glide…

Well yeah... this is me after an hour of learning basic surfing... Hahaha! Joke... Someday! Sooooomeday....

With the boys...

The newest surfers in town...

Hmmmm... She's not my officemate... I don't even know her name... Tsk! Spot Spot lang... Hi, I'm Jan...

As overused as the expression is, time really flies when you’re having fun! One hour felt like 10 minutes. I wanted to extend and to surf more but we had to check out. We had to go considering we still have a long ride going home. So I had to let go of the surfboard, made a high five to my instructor, went back to the room, wash up, ate lunch, then we were set to go.

Before we went out of the resort, we visited MAHDOX Surf School, took pictures with the instructors, thanked them, affirmed them and said our goodbyes to them.

With the MAHDOX instructors.

This is Okoy... The owner of MAHDOX Surfing School... He is the shy and soft-spoken type of guy.. Pinilit ko pa magpa-picture sa akin ito.. hehehe... Who could have thought that he is an 11-time Men's and Junior's Event Champ in surfing. And by the way, he is a licensed Civil Engineer... Whatta Guy! hehe.

We left the resort around 2:00pm, visited the Museo de Baler and the historical Baler Church.

This was the costume of Jericho Rosales in the movie Baler.

Baler Church

Nways, we went straight to the van, arrived in Manila around 12midnight.

I went home around 12:20am, bringing home with me the joy I felt in the place called Baler.

Thank you, Lord, for this weekend!

Now, my mindset is back for the Youth Life in the Spirit Seminar 28 on April 25-26, 2009. It’s my last YLSS as a Youth Pentacord for Bukas Loob sa Diyos Youth. Let God be Glorified! Amen!

JaN

*Thanks to Reyssie Sola for the pictures

Graduation Day Experience

2009-03-30T20:29:00.001-07:00

March 28, 2009 was a big day for my sister Jallyn because it was her graduation. I’m so proud of my sister! After four years of hard work, she graduated from Ateneo without any failing grades and has qualified her to be in the Dean’s List in her last term. What’s more is that their group thesis was nominated for Best in Thesis.

Her focus was amazing; I saw how she studied her heart out day and night. Upon arriving from school, she would take a quick nap for 3 to 4 hours and she would start studying again. Her room was piled up with handouts filled with highlights on it.

Her focus never faltered because she had a goal: to graduate on time.

Of course, as her big brother, I didn’t want to miss this event where my sister’s name would be called out by the university’s president and she would go up on stage to receive the diploma and bow to the audience. But I had a lot of things to do every Saturday, especially that particular Saturday, since I was assigned to give a talk about New Life and Receiving God’s Gift in BLD.

The graduation would begin at 4:00PM. My talk would start at 4:30PM.

The plan: Give my talk and go straight to Ateneo afterwards. Simple, right?

Here’s what happened last Saturday:

9:00AM – I helped the people out in BLD Sec to load the things in Didoy’s van and then went home after to wash up.

12:30PM – I arrived at San Carlos Seminary. I waited for the guys to arrive so that I can help pull out the stuff from the van and set it up in the conference room (We do this every Saturday).

3:45PM – I gave my talk. I pleaded to Didoy to adjust the time because I need to catch up with Jallyn’s graduation.

4:30PM – I finished my talk and ran at once to the MRT Station.

It felt as if I had a workout in the gym since I was walking so fast from San Carlos to the MRT station (imagine that with the heat of the summer sun). At the station, I had to go up to the bridge to cross to the other side so I could go to Cubao Station. I even fought my way inside the train. Unfortunately, the train was so full, I couldn’t even balance myself. It was very hot and felt very sticky. How lucky for me that the air conditioning unit was not working (imagine the sarcasm, people).

I saw my own sweat drip on my glasses and I couldn’t even wipe it out because my hands did not have any space to move. The windows were closed as well. Nobody cared to open them. No air was coming in. Frustration was quickly getting on my nerves. My patience was being tested.

Every time the door opens in each station, I would open my mouth and grasp as much air as I can (YES, I was this desperate for air).

Around 5:00PM – At last! Cubao Station. I ran to Gateway Mall and fell in line to the super strict guards of LRT 2. They inspected every zipper in my bag and every pocket in my pants. They are “strictly amazing!”

Around 5:15PM – I arrived at Katipunan LRT station. It was my first time to get on that station. The next step was to search for the tricycle station going to Ateneo. I got a tip from Adrian (my brother) to exit at the far end to get to the tricycle station. Before I went to the exit, I changed my clothes in the comfort room because my shirt was soaking wet.

Before I got in the tricycle, I went to Mini-Stop and bought myself C2, coming from a very tiring ride.

How thirsty was I? I bought the biggest C2 and consumed half of it in one gulp.

The tricycle fare is Php25 from Ministop to Ateneo. Upon arriving at Ateneo, I gave the driver Php50 and I told him, “Manong, bente na lang po.” The driver replied, “Sir, 25 po talaga ang pamasahe hanggang dito.” I smiled at him and said, “Ay hindi po. Bente na lang po isukli nyo sa akin.” The driver laughed and thanked me.

Around 5:30PM – I arrived in the high school gym and saw my brother; my sister has not been called yet. Praise God! I saw some BLD Atenean friends besides my brother. Good to know he had friends to accompany him so that he wouldn’t get bored.

After some time, the School of Psychology was already called and I heard the president call my sister’s name and as I saw her walking on stage, shaking hands with the people and bowing to the crowd… I was filled with pride for her. I couldn’t help but smile. Amazing!

Around 7:00PM – The whole program ended and we had some picture-taking with some friends. Then some friends took a picture of our family.

After Jallyn returned the toga and got her diploma, we set off to Abe Restaurant in Serendra and ate dinner till 10:00 pm.

It was an amazing day!

This blog does not have much spiritual learning and all those stuff I usually blog about but I just want to tell everyone how proud I am of my sister because she did her best to reach this moment. Saludo ako sayo!

Our youngest, Adrian, will also be graduating this year, if not, maybe next year, I’m not really sure on how the quarterm system works. But he is also a promising child and I know he will be better than me.

Friends, you want to reach your goal? Then you should FOCUS on it and TRUST the Lord all the time.

Congratulations graduates of 2009!

JaN

Passion + Potential = Purpose

2009-03-18T01:08:00.000-07:00

I recently saw the formula “Passion + Potential = Purpose” from Mayi’s YM status – and I totally agree.

I heard from one of Bo Sanchez’s talks that 80% of your passion and 20% of your potential determines your purpose in life.

Why 80% and not the whole 100%?

Have you watched American Idol? Oh boy! Almost all the people who sang in the auditions had 100% passion for singing but clearly there’s no potential. Amen?! That’s why you need at least 20% of potential for you to get to the next round and possibly win the competition.

In looking for a job, the same principle still applies.

In finding a hobby, the same principle still applies.

What’s your passion? What would be the thing that you do that does not tire you?

Then check if you have the potential to continue doing your passion.

Check out the photos below:

This is my cellgroup! Meet Ryan, Didoy, Andreus, Carlof…

Ryan has the passion for communication. In short, he loves to talk. Yes, talk…as in magsalita! He loves talking to people in and out of the community. He is the most talkative person in the cellgroup but you know what? When he talks, everybody listens. Amazing! Connect his sense of humor when imparting the lessons of his life, he would be the best preacher I’ve ever known. Now he is one of the trainees for being a manager in their company and he is sent out to different projects in the Philippines to talk, to manage, and to organize the expansion of the business of their company.

Didoy is a man with a lot of passion, one of which is playing the keyboards. This passion has brought him to many places already. He has played during Family Encounters, masses, Assumption vigil concerts, weekly prayer meetings, youth encounters, life in the spirit seminars in different places in the country. He has already composed songs which we use during our worship. Oh, by the way – he is only a licensed nurse and is currently taking up Medicine in UST. Someday, he will be named Doctor Christian Lubaton.

Andreus has an incredible passion for little children to know Jesus more. He goes out of his way to help organize mini prayer meetings for the street children. With his bible and guitar tied up with his passion, he is able to do his work for the Lord. He possesses the most humble heart I’ve ever known. On the other side, he is the most, as in THE MOST, romantic person I’ve ever known. He is the guy to talk to when I want to win a heart of a girl.

Carlof has a passion for music. He is the musical director of their band – Zach’s Tree. He is the head of the Praise Band. He plays the guitars and drums. He is the man behind the Praise band’s discipline and the reason why the band plays great every week. I remember talking to him after a Hillsongs concert, “Brad, yung pagtugtog ng Hillsongs, naririnig ko na yun every Saturday sa prayer meeting natin eh….” I was looking for the difference, honestly, and I couldn’t find any. By the way, he was the one who took and edited the pictures of the cellgroup above. He is already getting paid to take pictures during events. Visit his site http://pajengjeng.multiply.com for more info. Talk about passion!

As for me, well, I love leading small or large groups - being a Kuya to Jallyn and Adrian, heading the Altar Servers, being the Air Group Commander back in Don Bosco, being the platoon leader of our ROTC in Mapua, and of course, being appointed as Pentacord for BLD Youth. I also have a passion for sports - basketball and swimming. I am not the MJ type but when people ask me to play a basketball tournament, I would play (I don’t care if I’m playing with 6 footer players). If I see a swimming pool, the first thing that comes to my mind is to dive and swim. And when I see someone who doesn’t know how to swim, the first thing I’d do is teach them the basics. Hehe…

The 5 of us strengthen each other’s passions and affirm the other’s potential because we believe that God planted us each a talent to bless the world.

People, live your lives with passion within your potential!

I pray that you find your purpose and live your lives to its fullest! God bless.

JaN

At the Park.... with her...

2009-03-04T19:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, at past 5:00 in the afternoon, more than 2 hours past her shift, she told me she wanted to go home. I usually pick her up outside her office’s building then accompany her to the loading station of the bus going to the LRT.

I saw her Windows Messenger status “Needs a hug =(.” At that point, I already knew that she was exhausted at work.

The moment I saw her, I noticed her tired face as if she is in the brink of crying. When we arrived in the loading area, I saw no joy in her eyes – just tired, frustrated, exhausted.

I didn’t want her to go home like that so I grabbed her hand and brought her to a very relaxing place.

As we were walking, she was not able to contain it and cried on my back. Somehow, she was able to release her frustrations.

Destination: Jaime Velasquez Park, Salcedo Village.

We saw a free bench there. I sat there beside her as she leaned on me quietly. We looked up at the sky and just watched the stars shining brightly on us. We saw babies walking by with their yayas and couldn’t help but smile at the wonderful sight. We inhaled the semi-fresh air of Makati as the wind blew on our faces then exhaled all the negative vibes we felt during the long day of work… very relaxing.

I wanted to say a lot of things to her at that moment, like what I truly feel for her, what my plans are for the both of us, and ask what she thinks about me. But I realized the timing was inappropriate, it would not feel right.

I claim that the both of us will know when the time comes that we are both ready to commit ourselves to each other.

So I just enjoyed this time that she’s in my arms, resting, relaxing, trusting.

Not much words were said during our stay in the park but I know that somehow I was able to comfort her and I was able to express that I truly care for her.

Sometimes it’s not always in the things we say that would comfort someone. Rather it is when you deny yourself and give your presence to that person.

Friends, you want to capture someone’s trust? BE THERE for that person not only in times of happiness but most especially in times of discomfort.

God bless.

JaN

I was Kidnapped (with Consent) the Day Before Valentine's

2009-02-18T23:05:00.000-08:00

Last Friday night, Febraury 13, 2009, the eve of Valentine’s day where almost every boy is excited to treat their girls out on a date - maybe they’ll watch the movie of Richard and KC; eat in a fancy restaurant; or maybe just doing a sport they both love…

As for me, I was just infront of my PC in the office doing work for Monday because my plan was cancelled that night and I didn’t want to go home yet.

Everything changed when Maan and Mavic (officemates) invited me to come with them in SM Mall of Asia to watch the free concert of Boyce Avenue.

I said NO at first.

But I think Maan knows how to make me say YES because she knew I have this crush on her friend. She said “Bilis na JC, kasama si Liz!”

Well, without thinking about it much, I agreed to join them. Hehehe…

And we’re off….

At the Concert...

I’m sure the girls know who these boys are…

This is Alejandro Manzano, the lead vocalist.

This is Daniel Manzano, the one who plays the Bass guitar and sings the background vocals.

This is Fabian Manzano, also plays guitar and sings background vocals.

The one who plays the percussion and beat box is Stephen Hatker…

Anyway, we were not able to come near the stage because of the jam-packed crowd. We just settled in watching them on the white screen.

The crowd went wild when Daniel and Fabian Manzano would be flashed on the screens. Imagine – merely three seconds these guys smiled and you could actually hear a surge of those voices screaming for them. What more if those smiles would flash on the screen for ten seconds or more?

The 3 girls would jump up and down when they love the songs while I stood behind just watching them. Good luck naman kung pati ako nakikitalon sa kanila diba….

The band was awesome! They really rocked the crowd. I was especially impressed when they played their own rendition of the songs "Apologize," "Umbrella," and "Bleeding Love." I’m a little inspired to learn to play an instrument – maybe an acoustic guitar or keyboards.

Bravo Boyce Avenue! I’m a new fan!

AFTER CONCERT

The concert ended around 1030pm and we agreed to eat dinner at Teriyaki Boy.

Oh well that’s me! I saw Liz ordered that drink so I ordered the same thing. It’s called Cookie Tea Frappe. It’s amazingly delicious.

That’s Maan and Liz! Maan is an 11-month-old friend. Liz, hmmm… 3-day-old friend…. Hehe…

Beautiful…. Oh by the way, these two girls attended the St. Scho Youth Life in the Spirit Seminar last 2005. So, they are familiar in what I do in the community.

This is Mavic! One of the fewest ladies I know who has never been kissed, never been touched but totally DAMAGED! Haha. Joke! She never had a boyfriend but when I talk to her I can feel that her love tank is full. You’ll find your Prince Charming soon friend….

******

We went home before midnight and all of us were happy with each other’s company.

Well, I can’t really give much of a reflection about Valentine’s day since I had no partner to celebrate it with for the past 3 years. I can’t exactly remember the joy I feel when I see her reaction after I give my surprises.

That day will come again.

A little research about St. Valentine

Let me end my blog entry with the story from St. Valentine himself. God bless.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Valentine. I lived in Rome during the third century. That was long, long ago! At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. I didn't like Emperor Claudius, and I wasn't the only one! A lot of people shared my feelings.

Claudius wanted to have a big army. He expected men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. As you might have guessed, not many men signed up. This made Claudius furious. So what happened? He had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel. I thought it was preposterous! I certainly wasn't going to support that law!

Did I mention that I was a priest? One of my favourite activities was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, I kept on performing marriage ceremonies -- secretly, of course. It was really quite exciting. Imagine a small candlelit room with only the bride and groom and myself. We would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers.

One night, we did hear footsteps. It was scary! Thank goodness the couple I was marrying escaped in time. I was caught. (Not quite as light on my feet as I used to be, I guess.) I was thrown in jail and told that my punishment was death.

I tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what? Wonderful things happened. Many young people came to the jail to visit me. They threw flowers and notes up to my window. They wanted me to know that they, too, believed in love.

One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit me in the cell. Sometimes we would sit and talk for hours. She helped me to keep my spirits up. She agreed that I did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and going ahead with the secret marriages. On the day I was to die, I left my friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. I signed it, "Love from your Valentine."

I believe that note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine's Day. It was written on the day I died, February 14, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh -- because they know that love can't be beaten!

Happy Valentine's Month Everyone!

JaN

Being Gay Isn't Bad After All

2009-02-10T23:29:00.000-08:00

As you may have read in my previous blog entry, I attended the wake of May’s dad. The funeral chapel of Sacred Heart Church was quite small; I mean if the room will be filled up with 30 people, it would already be jam-packed and people would be standing at the back.

It was 8pm, as everyone is getting ready for the mass, I observed that approximately 60% of the people in the chapel were homosexuals, around 30% were female, and the remaining 10% were male. If you know my past with gays, I’m sure you’ll know how uncomfortable I was during this time.

I’m not exaggerating! The room was almost filled up with gays and lesbians. I overheard that they are the bible group of May’s sister.

There is ministry called Living Free Ministry.

This ministry helps homosexuals break away from bondage and go on to live normal heterosexual lives.

But hey, I’m part of those 10% male. I’m sure of that. And it was then when I met two new friends.

TWO NEW FRIENDS

May introduced me to Ella and Nazy - two beautiful single women who are also part of May’s Christian Commission Fellow (CCF) Community.

The mass would begin in 2 minutes, we saw the priest who will celebrate the mass. Italian. Tall. Handsome.

I whispered to Ella “Ang gwapo ni Father oh…”

I expected her to laugh, of course. What I didn’t expect was how loud she laughed.

To the point it was hard for her to breathe because she was trying her best to hold it in. After all, everyone was in mourning and preparing for the mass.

She noticed that Father was handsome but she did not expect I’d notice the same thing.

After the mass, the 4 of us chatted like we knew each other very well. I cracked some old time jokes na bumenta naman sa kanila. Then we started talking about our communities – like why they converted from Catholic to Born Again, the worship songs we know, our favorite international worship bands.

This is where I knew that the principles of Born Again Christians and Catholic Christians do not differ that much at all. Born Agains just don’t hear mass, they don’t pray the rosary like Catholics do and they don’t believe in saints.

Both have the same passion to reach out! Both have the desire to preach the Bible! And both have the heart to worship the Lord!

Around 10pm I accompanied them to get a cab because Ella and Nazy still have their respective shifts.

REALITY HIT ME

One week later…

I received a text from May.

“Hey Jan, this is so gonna crack you up. Apparently maraming na misteryosohan sa iyo sa wake ni papa coz I’m getting some feedbacks and napagkamalan kang medyo on the ‘Living Free’ side. Benta!”

Then I asked her to whom she got that feedback.

Guess what “Ella and Nazy!”

The text that day continued when May was with them and their topic was about me being gay. Then the 2 girls asked me if we could meet up so that they can prove that I’m not on the other side. They missed me already, they said. They wanted to bond with me that day. They invited me to go to their worship and have lunch after.

The sad thing was that I couldn’t meet them up on Sundays since this would be time for my family.

I replied with my sense of humor attached to the text message – like going with the flow that I was gay, that I couldn’t meet them on February 13 or 14 because I might have a date but they wouldn’t know if I was going to go out with a guy or a girl, that it’s hard being a single because you’re thought of as either choosy or gay.

At the end of the day, May thanked me for being a good sport. Ella and Nazy said their thanks as well, hoping we could hang out.

Hey, being thought of as gay was not bad after all. Instead of me asking the 2 girls out, now they invite me to go out with them. Haha! If they'll be able to read this, I'm sure they will kick me..

They are amazing!

NEW BLESSINGS FROM GOD!

During that time, God blessed me again with 2 new friends. I’ll be meeting them again soon, I promise!

I was introduced to His Christian family. They are also my brothers and sisters in Christ. Different it may be in what we believe but our goal is the same – TO BE CHRIST LIKE.

And by the way, if you have friends who are homosexuals (gays and lesbians) and they are confused on what direction they should take, CCF has a miracle ministry that breaks them away from bondage and it would help them go on to live normal heterosexual lives.

That miracle is called Living Free Ministry.

Search it up in Google for more information.

I haven’t heard about a ministry like this in the Catholic Church but I do hope there is and if there is, I would be more than happy to help in any way I can.

JaN

Rapture!

2009-02-03T22:16:00.000-08:00

Last night, I attended the wake of the dad of my friend, May. He died due to cardiac arrest. My condolences to May and her family.

I worked with May in the St. Andrew Parish for a lot of years. She’s a very close friend. But I think 2 or 3 years ago she converted from being a Catholic to a Born Again Christian.

I don’t see anything wrong about that. =)

She is a totally different person now. Her drive to praise God is really evident. She would tell stories about her services in their Church, how she feels when she worships God, and how she loves the different Christian up tempo songs.

She also mentioned stuff like “I’m quite at peace that Papa already went before Jesus, it’s just the human life anyway, we still have the eternal life with God”

Amazing!

I was pumped up just by listening to her.

But one thing bothered me….

NEW KNOWLEDGE FOR JAN SILAN

While waiting for the mass to begin I asked her “How old is your Dad?” She said “He’s 88 years old.”

“Wow! That’s quite long! I hope I can reach 88 years as well.”

Then she said “Well, I don’t think so…”

My face went blank upon hearing her say those words. I didn’t expect that response from her.

“Why?”

“Well, all the signs are there… Jan, we will meet RAPTURE!”

My face was still blank… “Ahhh… Rapture uh? What’s rapture again?”

I can see in her face something like “Come on Jan, you are a Catholic leader, you should know what rapture is…”

She asked “Jan, do you read your Bible?”

“Everyday! I read the daily readings everyday before I start doing my work.”

“How come you don’t know rapture?”

My face was very confused now… “Ahhh… I just don’t know, but I read my Bible everyday… Enlighten me please...”

“Jan, read your Bible!”

“I do! Now what’s Rapture?”

She grabbed her Bible and turned it to Matthew 24 titled “Signs of the End of the Age”

Now I knew where this conversation will go….

Now I remember what rapture is.

It was discussed by Father Bill Halbing last Kergyma Conference 2008 but his signs of the end times were discussed in a different way.

Go to this site for more info -> http://www.ourawesomeplanet.com/awesome/2008/12/the-end-times.html

DEFINITION OF RAPTURE

She defined Rapture as the second coming of Jesus Christ wherein saved individuals both dead and alive rise up to the air and join Jesus in the sky.

“You mean I will fly to the sky?”

She responded “You will if you are chosen to be saved by Jesus…”

Isn’t that cool!

“When will Rapture happen?”

“Soon Jan, all the signs are there…”

“How soon?”

She grabbed her Bible and we read Matthew 24 together.

SIGNS OF RAPTURE

Guys, I invite you to read the whole Matthew 24. -> http://www.allaboutgod.com/truth/matthew-24.htm

Here are some lines:

Mt 24:5 “For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am Christ, and will deceive many.’”

Mt 24:6 “You will hear of wars and rumors about wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen.”

Mt 24:7 “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various place…”

Mt 24:12 “Because of increase of wickedness, the love of most wil grow cold”

Mt 24:29 “… the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken…”

Mt 24:30 “At the time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man, coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory.”

Mt 24:37 “As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.”

Let me scare you more, go to this site -> http://www.raptureready.com/

She warned me to be aware of the 2nd coming…

MY BREAK

Around 8pm, a lot of relatives already came. She was already busy. I was able to talk to some of her Christian friends about their love lives, crushes in the community, goal of their community, work-related stuff and other things about their lives.

I went home around 10pm.

Upon sitting on our couch, I grabbed my bible and reflected on Matthew 24.

I realize now that there are verses that she did not mention that was indicated also in Matthew 24. I would love to focus more on these verses.

THE PROMISE

Mt 24:13 “But he who stands firm to the end will be saved.”

So keep the faith up – line your principles with the teachings of Jesus. Stand firm on what is right. In the end, you and I will be saved.

Mt 24:35 “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away”

AMEN LORD! That’s why I’ll forever believe in your word.

Mt 24:36 “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, not the Son, but only the Father”

Yun naman pala eh…. YES there would be “signs.” YES there would be things happening around that are not good. But nobody really can say when the earth will end.

So continue doing what is good.

Live your life to its fullest.

Reach out to as many people as you can - touch lives.

Expand your territories.

Improve your talents.

PERSONAL REFLECTION

Friends, we don’t know the time wherein we will meet Jesus face to face. Could be later, tomorrow, next week... I don’t know..

But one thing is for sure. When we depart here on earth, he will be there with open arms, welcoming us to his kingdom.

There would be that day when we will walk with Him side by side..

Forever just singing praises to Him.

Forever laughing.

Forever happy.

But as we wait for that day, have faith!

Put your focus back on the love of God the Father for us.

Believe that He will not leave us and that He is just always by our side...

JaN

Another Girl Cried Because Of Me…

2009-01-22T18:16:00.000-08:00

Yes! Another girl cried because of Jan Silan.

It’s simple!

Let me tell you how…

Despite the busy schedule due to meeting a deadline this week, I made it a point to get out of the office at 4pm. I immediately went to Greenbelt 5, looked for the flip flops store, and bought the slippers her size.

After buying the slippers, I immediately went to Goldilocks to buy a medium-sized cake.

Fortunately, she was upstairs when I got home. I quickly set up the cake, lit the candle on top of it and placed my gift beside it.

Seeing that everything was ready, I called her name and as she was halfway the stairs, she saw the cake with the lit candle and we all sang – HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY….. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!

Yes, today’s the birthday of my mother - Mama Belen.

As she witnessed all of these in front of her, she was stunned and left crying on the stairs.

I grabbed her hand and led her in front of the cake asking her to make wish before she blows the candle.

Tears were all over her as she saw the message in the cake:

“Dear Mama,

Happy Birthday! Thank you for everything! We love you!

Love, Papa, Jan, Jallyn, and Adrian.”

I admit that some tears also fell from my eyes as I watched my mother cry with tears of joy. It was one of the fewest times that I saw her very happy and surprised.

After she blew the candle, we all hugged and kissed her as we sang louder “Happy Birthday”….

She was not able to contain the love that she experienced. In result, she cried…

NO!

She cried really hard….

We ate a simple dinner - cake, Coke, Sprite, tacos, and spaghetti from Jollibee.

We celebrated it AT HOME…

That’s it!

Oh boy, this happiness I feel can’t even be compared!

I don’t want to see my mother cry but if she cries because she couldn’t contain the love she feels, I don’t mind her crying all day long.

THE ONLY FORMULA

Your LOVE TANK should be full.

When that is fulfilled, I’m very sure that love will flow and be happily shared to the people around you.

Another thing…

Be creative!

Be surprising!

And lastly…

Be simple!

A cake from Goldilocks and a pair of flip flops - it’s not much. You can ask the person who was with me when I bought the slippers (haha… talagang kailangan i-singit eh… tsktsk… I love you cell group)…

I’m the kind of person who loves to give surprises and with little creativity and with my simple gift – I was able to express love together with my siblings in the most fantastic way to Mama.

LET ME GIVE ANOTHER MISSION IN LIFE

Make them cry!

Oh yeah! Make the people around you CRY!

Start it with the people to whom you experience love. Give that love back by making them cry…

Yes!

Well, I hope you know what I mean by this when I say make them cry, right?

Let the spirit of happiness burst in their inner soul in which they would not be able to contain it anymore. From there you’ll be able to witness how love can manifest in the most special way.

But before you do this make sure your love tank is full then be creative, be surprising, and be simple. God bless.

FOR MAMA

You know what Ma…. Everyday I thank the Lord because you are my mother… every single day….. I’m so blessed….. GRRRRRR…. I don’t even know how to put it in words… 

Basta… Thank you Ma! Thank you…. And I love you so much!!

JaN

Results When Love Tank Is Empty

2009-01-15T16:58:00.001-08:00

This week I’ve been chatting with two of my female friends who desperately ask for a male’s point of view in their situation. I’m happy that they trust my judgment.

In this entry, I’ll be hard this time mostly to girls. If you don’t want hard realizations, close this window NOW…

Well anyway, all the wisdom I have when it comes to relationships comes from the books I read, the advices from my cell group, and past experiences with my 18 roses. Hehe…

Both of them have a lot of similarities – they are both gorgeous, extremely high in sex appeal; both are college heartthrobs (the other one joined a beauty contest during their time and won it); both have fantastic singing voices – one of whom is a professional wedding singer.

They both have excellent communication skills in speaking and in writing; both are in the HR team of their respective companies; their smiles can making any man’s day – they have nice set of teeth.

They smell so lovely – I wonder what their perfumes are; they are role models in their respective communities; both are simple human beings; and both are my crushes. Hehe. Di ba obvious?! :D

They possess almost all the traits a man would love to have in their partners.

But you know what? They are both not happy now. Love tank = ZERO (0)! None! Nada!

Now, when I talk to them they have this tone in the chat room as if they will die once their partners leave them. The other one is currently in a 2-year relationship and the other one is still in the courting stage.

Let me tell you other similarities they have. They are both insecure – to be honest my heart crushed when they mentioned “Jan na-iinsecure ako…” I was like “WHAAAT?!” then I tell them them the traits I mentioned above, the only response I get is “Marami naman ganyan girls eh, mas sexy pa sa akin…”

They both can easily see the negative attitudes they have – “selosa ako kaya siya galit…”

“I can’t control my mouth when I’m mad…”

“He does not trust me because I’ve broken his trust 2 or 3 years ago…”

“I’m weak! I don’t know what to do if he does not text me today… He might be courting somebody else.”

“Nakakaawa ako…” (I’m pathetic)

“When I talk to him, he’s always mad at me, but it’s ok, I deserve this treatment…I deserve this pain… I’ll accept it because I love him…”

Lastly, the line that crushed my heart to the ground –

“Sabi niya hindi naman daw sa nagmamayabang eh mahaba ang pila ng girls niya kung hindi ko daw siya sasagutin… He’s been courting me for 2 months and he wants an answer now… the old him won’t wait that long… tapos ang bilis pa niya magalit… Nayayabangan ako sa kanya, pero totoo naman na maraming ngang ibang nakapila, pero ako daw priority niya kase Christian ako, kung hindi ako Christian, last daw ako. Sinabi niya yun… Masakit…Pero mahal ko siya kahit papano… Ayoko ng ganito, my mind says let go but my heart wants to hold on…… ”

Sigh…

Actually there are so many lines I got from the girls that just broke my heart. It just drives home the point that they can’t see that there is a problem with their partners as well thus they only see the problem in themselves.

Why?

Because they would not let their hearts admit that the person from whom they get that love also has mistakes, and as a result, they become hard on themselves that they surrender to their belief that it's their fault.

They suck all the love from their partners. That’s bad. I mean, that’s not healthy.

ONE OF THE UNIVERSAL LAWS...

You can’t give what you do not have. Amen?!

The same principle applies to “You can’t give out love if you don’t love yourself first.”

You can’t even love God without filling yourself with love.

Fill your life with love. When the love tank is full, it will automatically be shared with others. It will be easier to understand, to compromise, to be patient, and to be more positive in life. “It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” – 1 Corinthians 13:7.

HOW DO I FILL MYSELF WITH LOVE??

I asked them, “How do you pamper yourself?”

“I go to the SPA…”

The other one “I go to a silent retreat…”

Both are correct by the way… As long as you do things that can make you feel beautiful, because you are beautiful.

I don’t care if your nose is flat or your ears are huge. You’ve got to believe in your heart that you’re beautiful – feel it – and the world will believe right with you.

Go out with friends! Swim! Play badminton! Go to a beauty salon! Have a new haircut! Treat yourself an Ice Cream! Shop! Libre mo ko! HAHA! Point is - Go out and live life!

Be the best loving person to your family. And mind you, the best sex appeal isn’t in the clothes but in the personality, your drive, your love for life.

Be Happy! Be Friendly! Be Humble! Be Affirming! Be Modest! Be Yourself!

SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT COURTING...

If you are in the courting stage, Be Mysterious – just like the girl I'm courting right now. Hehe… (Siningit talaga eh)…

I mean, guys shouldn’t feel he’s got you in their bag. There has to be a sense of mystery about you. Even when you’re close to yes to him – you should still remain mysterious. Never let your suitor think the chase is over.

Because the moment he feels that, he will relax, take his time and end up taking you for granted.

He’s got to know that he’s part of your world, but not all of it.

He’s got to know that he has to fight to date you because you’re busy with your world as well.

MY COURTING STAGE NOW...

The girl I'm courting now is a fantastic woman and I’m pursuing her along with 3 or 4 more suitors. Now I fight to date her - I wake up as early as 5am so that by the end of her shift I can date her in a simple breakfast at MCDO.

When her shift ends late at 10pm, I go out the office by 5pm, take a swim at Intercon till 9pm, then go back and wait for her to get out the building just to see her for a couple of minutes.

That’s what I mean about fighting for it.

If for example she does not choose me, I’LL DIE! Hehe. Joke lang! Well, maybe I’ll cry and be sad for some weeks but after that I’ll stand up, trust in God, and start the hunt again because in my heart I know that my love tank is full.

TO MY 2 FEMALE FRIENDS =)

Jan loves you both so much. It feels like hell knowing your heartaches. Always remember that you both are beautiful. You don’t even have the right to be insecure.

Realize the following:

1. You deserve to be treated better by your partners.

2. You are the girls, kayo dapat ang hinahabol.

3. There are men out there who can love you the way you want to be loved.

4. You cannot give love without loving yourself first.

5. Sa huli ang pagsisisi

Relax…. Breathe….. Cry…. Breathe again… Relax… Then Smile!

Don’t make your guys your world.

Make Jesus be in the center of your world.

I’m always be here for you constantly reminding of what you already know.

God bless…

JaN

My Heart Grew Bigger in Lipa Batangas

2009-01-06T07:47:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everybody!

On January 4, 2009 I attended the wedding of my officemate, Jennifer, and her new husband, Vincent.

Beautiful wedding.

How I went to the venue - I met with my other officemates in Quezon Avenue around 7am; ate lunch around 11:30am at the house of Jesley (one of my former officemates also) – by the way the bulalo was fantastic, it was my first time to taste the utak of bulalo – it was delicious (don’t worry Ma, I drank a lot of water afterwards); then went straight to San Sebastian Church in Lipa for the wedding at 1pm.

This is San Sebastian Church from the outside.

The setup inside the church.

Jennifer was my partner in training our other officemates on how to troubleshoot any Information System (IS) concerns. Now she is one of the three IT Specialists of the company.

Roughly 5 years ago, Vincent saw Jen praying at San Sebastian Church. He liked what he saw. Every time he would see her praying at the same spot of the church, he really wanted to go up to her and ask for her name. Then one time, he saw her finish praying then went outside– it was his chance… he gathered all the strength he could and approached her outside the church, asked for name. After some days or weeks, he asked for the number, Vincent courted her, and then the rest was history.

Both of them are very loving to their own parents – who nourished them with great amounts of love.

Both of them are soft spoken, moral, upright, diligent and wholesome.

Both of them love the Lord.

Here come's the bride...

You may now kiss the bride...

After 5 years of being together.... Now, they are one body in Christ..

Vincent plans to have 6 kids. He kept on saying that from the church to the reception. We joked around the corner that we need to hire another IT Specialist since Jen will be pregnant 6 times.

I’m betting they will grow old together because they were raised well by their parents; they share common values, vision and passion; they share the common past time – biking; their love tank is full; and they are best friends.

As for me, I enjoyed the company of my friends. Even though I already resigned in that company, we are all still friends.

We couldn’t stop laughing the whole time we were there – from the office to the rented van to Jesley’s house to the church. Oh yes, there were moments where we’d laugh to ourselves as we saw those “kilig” moments. And from the church to the reception to the van and finally back to the Manila office, we were laughing. Woohoo!

It was just awesome!

Jen, you are an awesome woman. You inspired me a lot to study the system we were trained for 2 months because I want to cope up with you so that there’s nothing to be said from the team that I didn’t know what you know. You also filled my shortcomings in the team. Sorry for making you cry when I left the company 10 months ago. I’m happy that you are now married to the man you love.

Make it a decision to love each day.

May Jesus be in the center of your relationship in times of happiness and trials.

And may you have 6 or more kids – kaya mo yan! God bless you!

To my teammates, I love you all so much! I stayed in the team for more than a year – we held on to each other; we built each other up; we loved one another – see, my romantic heart still stayed in the helpdesk even though I already left… hehe… I hope you know what I mean by that...

Enjoy looking at the pictures below.

By the way you may access speechlezz.multiply.com to see all the pictures.

This is Jesley. She is one of the Ninangs of Jen and Vincent. Thank you for the Bulalo.

We represent the IT Team of the company. hehe...

Serious shot with Pia and Joyce. We look very serious! Hehe.. Can you see all the people at the back? The church was full but not because of the wedding but because I think there is a 3pm mass after.. hehe...

Wacky shot! I love doing wacky shots because this is where I look best... Haha...

Kissing game in the reception... Look at how Jesley kiss her husband... Good Job!

Kulitan while in the reception...

Super kulitan in the reception... Hindi naman namin namiss ang isa't isa... haaay... I miss the team...

Ohhh... I didn't get the name of this guy.. He is the official photographer of Jen and Vincent... But man, he looks like Norvin, one of the supervisor in the company... see the picture below...

Told yah! I'm betting they are long lost brothers... hehe.. peace out norvs... namiss lang kita....

This is Joyce. She is very pretty. She looks like a soft spoken girl; has that angelic face; parang anak mayaman na hindi cowboy; mahinhin; mahiyain... hehehe... check the next pic... think again...

Yes, that is still Joyce... Thank God I washed my pants before wearing it.... hehehe.... as long as there is a camera - she can do any pose... any....

My favorite picture is
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Rugene! I love this pose!! It looks so true! bwahahaha!!!

There was no dull moment the whole day. Ang babaw lang talaga ng kaligayahan kapag magkakasama tayo. Ang dali dali nyo parin patawanin at dali ko pa rin matawa sa mga jokes ninyo.

It was difficult for me to leave the company but the Lord has different plans for me.

Let me say this – God blessed me when I entered the team. You all blessed me. Images of Jesus are seen in each and every one of you.

Indeed, my heart grew bigger in Lipa Batangas last Sunday.

I miss you all team.

Let’s have more times like this.

More weddings!

More reunions!

God bless us all.

JaN

JC2X 2008 - White Birthday Party

2008-12-30T05:49:00.000-08:00

Last December 19, me and my buddy/cell group mate, Carlof celebrated our birthdays at their house in Merville. We asked everyone to wear white, having decided that our party is going to be white-themed (though I can’t remember why we did). The party was called JC2X because I'm Jan Carlo and he’s John Carlo so it's JC2X. Hope it made sense. Hehe….

We prepared this celebration 2 months ago - we contacted a mobile bar (oh by the way you can check their website http://clubfishbone.multiply.com/); we listed the food for dinner and pulutan; and we arranged our guest list initially of 70 guests wherein 80% are from BLD Youth, 10% from his FE, and the other 10% are our officemates and other friends.

Carlof has been celebrating his birthday for the past 2 years with us – as in we had incredible quality of food cooked by Tita Weng (his mother) and unlimited supply of San Mig Light.

But for this year, he asked me if we could team up so that we can have a mobile bar on top of the incredible food and unlimited San Mig Light - which I agreed to. We rented a mobile bar because we saw how much fun people had, though how wasted they got, during Jon’s and Jeff’s birthday celebration earlier this year. We also got to join the UST party back in October. Both parties had mobile bars.

I’ll just keep this entry short as I want you to look at the pictures below that reveal some of the fun going on that night.

If you want to check out all the other pictures, click the links below:

http://jappyjaps.multiply.com/photos/album/111/JC2X_Birthday_Party >> JPAUL

http://pajengjeng.multiply.com/photos/album/392/JC2X_White_Party_12192008 >> CARLOF

If you can’t view it, just ask permission.

Feel free to comment... Enjoy!

The Club fish bone boys are setting up the bar...

Drinks are now available....

These are my closest friends - Carlof, Didoy, Mayi, Jeff, and Maan...

I love being part of a community! That's Mayi, Me, Gerard, Carlof and Det...

We are ready to drink!

This is my best bud and partner in crime... - Didoy...

Oh noh! 3 drinks all at the same time!!! GO LANG!!

Look at my reaction... As if I don't know what hit me...

The drinking race... Can't remember who won...

My family! Look they are not in white - i forgot to tell them.. :D

Mayi, sarap ko mag hug noh... She's the girlfriend of my best bud Didoy...

Trisha on the left and AJ on the right... oh boy... Can't wait for these girls to turn 21... hehehe...

She made my night extra special... Thanks for coming... She's one of my roses... She represents daw the whole IT Helpdesk Department. They can't make it... Pero super ok lang... Haay naku helpdesk team, hina ko talaga sa inyo.. hehe...

Another look at her... so beautiful... Many say she looks like Sandra Bullock... Sabi naman niya Sandra BULOK daw... hehe... =) Thanks for coming Mela... =)

And lastly
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BANG!!! I fell asleep around 1am.... The party ended around 3am... I'm so wasted! On the right is Sancho. He came around 130am, he's late kaya ito nalang inabutan niya...

It was a great night for all of us. I want to thank the Lord for providing us the resources to go through with the party. I want to thank everyone (my family, Carlof’s family, BLD friends, officemates, FE friends and other friends.. hehe..) who shared their time to join me and Carlof in this special day of our lives. God bless us all!

JaN

I Felt Rich This Christmas

2008-12-26T19:30:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in my last blog, Christmas is about giving. Since I was a child, I always remember that children from our street and from other streets come inside our house and ask Aguinaldo from Papa.

At the same time, I was out in the streets asking for Aguinaldo from some of my neighbors. I usually end up getting Php1000 at the end of the day then I give it to Mama and she deposits it in the bank.

Well anyway, kids are still coming to our house until this Christmas. Some of them are already sons and daughters of the kids that ask for Aguinaldo before.

Since I started working last 2005, I decided to help out Papa in giving Aguinaldo to the kids. If my memory is correct, I gave out money in 2005 and 2006. Last year, I had less budget than before but my heart still want to give out something to the kids, so I decided to give the kids toys instead.

I was so inspired because last year’s BLD Youth Christmas, Mayi gave out toy rings that light up as a souvenir. So that’s what I bought from Market! Market!

I can still remember the reactions of the kids as I gave them the toys. They were happier to my gift than the Aguinaldo they received from Papa. HAHA! Everyone playing with the ring, it felt so fulfilling as the kids exited our house with huge smiles on their faces.

This year, instead of giving toys (that obviously they already lost maybe a day after Christmas day) I decided to give out C2 drinks.

I ordered 5 boxes of 355 mL C2 drinks from Sancho which I gave out to the kids after they ask for Aguinaldo from Papa. The fun part is that there were older people in the neighborhood who heard I was giving out C2 drinks, they were coming in our house as well. The older people were not asking Aguinaldo from Papa of course but they formed a separate line to me for the drink.

Everyone, young and old, left our home with smiles on their faces.
I felt rich! As simple as giving out something small I was able to make everyone so happy.

Next year, I plan to do the same. Hopefully I would give out the bigger size C2 then the year after – the biggest size C2.

Gift of giving - Some of my friends, they gave out food to street children; our community organized an outreach program; some donated to the church.

Christmas in our hearts….

Give and it will come back…

Merry Christmas everyone!

JaN

How Simbang Gabi Changed My Life At The Young Age of 10

2008-12-22T15:28:00.000-08:00

Yes! I was 10 years old and since then, it has moved my faith. You may not be aware of this but I started serving the Lord as an Altar Server at the age of 10. I attended a summer training last May of 1996 then started serving the December Simbang Gabi until 2007. But this year, I’ve decided to just hear mass.

Simbang Gabi or Misa de Gallo…. The word “gallo” comes from a Spanish word meaning rooster. At the first sound of dawn, at the crowing of the rooster, the entire family of mostly farmers and fishermen would hear mass before going to work. This has become one of the most popular traditions in the Philippines.

In the 90s, St Andrew Parish only had 2 masses for the Simbang Gabi – the 8pm anticipated mass and the 4:30am dawn mass. The church was jam-packed during those 2 masses especially the 4:30am mass – the church doors were left open; people had to take up almost half the aisles; church grounds outside the parish was crowded as well. Thank God I was an Altar Server and I had the best seat around – beside the Priest.

I think it was in 2001 when the new parish priest rescheduled it and made it 3 Simbang Gabi masses. 8 pm anticipated, 4am, and 5am dawn masses – as a result, the church was not that as full anymore. Everybody was inside because of the new air-conditioning unit that was put there.

Anyway, I’m going out of my topic. What made me want to complete the 9 days of Simbang Gabi at such a young age? It’s because it was rooted in me that if I complete the 9 days, anything I would wish will come true for the next year.

Crazy?

Hilarious?

Ridiculous?

Yeah! Name it all but that’s my belief… and you know what’s shocking about that – ALL MY WISHES COMES TRUE!!

I ask as if I’m already expecting it.

You want to know my wishes? Now comes the funny part...

I was just the average student back in elementary struggling to pass his subjects most especially math and science. So my prayer was for the Lord to pass me and get me to the next grading level next year. For example, at 10 years old, I was in grade 5 then, I prayed that the Lord would pass me in all my subjects and get to grade 6. Then for the next year, I prayed that I’ll graduate elementary. Then for the next year I prayed that I’ll go to second year… to 3^rd year… graduate high school… Fast forward Dec 2004 – I prayed to graduate college in 2005.

All of my wishes happened! Ok, so you may be thinking that even if I didn’t complete all 9 days of Simbang Gabi, I could have done it nonetheless. You might be right… but – I stress again, BUT – deep in my heart I had this assurance that no matter how difficult my subjects will be, I will succeed because I completed the Simbang Gabi. Crazy as it may sound, but that's me.. hehe...

I asked it as if I’m already expecting it. I don’t worry because I already claimed it.

For 2005 – I asked Him for a better work type other than taking calls in the DSL Support line. How did God answer my prayer? I was accepted in the IT Helpdesk Team of the company in October 2006 which took me out in taking calls in the DSL Support line and began supporting my fellow employees with their IT related issues.

For 2006 – I asked the Lord a better time schedule at work (specifically a Saturday afternoon off) as I was serving Him as a Pentacord for BLD Youth and as such, I needed to be available every Saturday from 1pm till 6pm. If you know how schedules work in a call center industry, it’s close to impossible to ask for such request because we rotate.

I don’t know how He did it but I was able to attend every Prayer Meeting every Saturday in 2007. It’s either I don’t have a shift on Saturday; I’ll be on 6am-3pm, pwede ako humabol sa worship; or I’ll be on night shift. Simply Amazing!

For 2007 – I asked the Lord to give me a better paying job that would enable me to support my needs, the needs of my family, and the works I do for the ministry. At the same time I specifically asked for a flexible schedule. That’s all! I told him, Lord, kahit ito lang po, masayang masaya na ako.

(With tears in my eyes right now) The Lord has been so good to me, March 3, 2008 was my first day in my new company which gave me a better offer, a flexible schedule, a normal day time job – Saturday Sunday off, I’ll be on holidays during holidays, and plus it’s here in my hometown MAKATI wherein my office is just a tricycle away from my house.

For this year (2008) – Lord, please read my blog! I pray and I claim that my parents and I will free of debts before 2009 ends… In Jesus’ name! Amen…

I now ask as if I already have it! That’s what I call faith! Lord, surprise me! Amen.

Let me end with this thought in your mind:

Simbang Gabi is not just a habit that is observed because we need to do so. It is a significant moment not only because it strengthens relationships among family members but also because it is the time where our faith is intensified.

This is the time where we mostly feel the presence of the Lord because it is the spiritual preparation for Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ. It does not matter if one has the stamina to complete the novena or not – kahit ako, there are years na I was not able to complete all 9 days, but what really matters is what is inside the heart.

The blessing does not depend on the number of masses attended, but what is important is the disposition of the person who receives the Lord’s blessing.

Another short message I want to share with you is that you should still be excited every Christmas. Don’t let it pass without giving love to your family, friends, and most especially to the poor. Allow the Lord to surprise you with his blessings – young or old, allow yourself to be childlike, as if you’re expecting a surprise from God… hehehe… something like that.

And when blessings come don’t forget to appreciate.

If you are Catholic, don’t forget to hear mass on Christmas day.

Merry Christmas!

JaN

My Christmas Message to Everyone

2008-12-14T17:45:00.000-08:00

Advance Merry Christmas to everyone! Mama recently bought me a book titled “More Stories of Life and Laughter by Father Bel San Luis, SVD.” Knowing full well that I’m into preaching, these stories would help me drive my point home.

There was this story that moved me, wherein after reading, it left my nose feeling a little runny, as if I was on the brink of crying. I was so moved that I told myself, I can’t wait for a Saturday to preach this out, so I’m sharing it to you now.

Be blessed!

A Good Act Comes Back

He almost didn’t see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even the dim light of day, he could see she needed help, so he pulled up in front of her car and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so.

He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fears can put in you. He said, “I’m here to help you ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan.”

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two.

Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him.

She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only passing though. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. She asked him how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped.

Bryan never thought twice about the money.

This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, “… and think of me.”

He waited until she started the car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small café. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingly looking restaurant.

Her waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase.

The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal and the waitress went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, the lady slipped right out the door.

She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be, then she noticed something written on the napkin under which were four $100 bills.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: “You don’t owe me anything, I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.”

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day.

That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it?

With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, “Everything’s gonna be all right; I love you, Bryan.”

**********

My dear friends, this is my Christmas message to you. The message of giving!

Give with a cheerful heart. The Lord promises a fulfilled life when you are a giver.

Let me share this analogy: Everybody knows the Law of Gravity – throw a ball up in the air, whether you like it or not, what happens? It falls down because of the law of gravity. It’s universal! That’s what my Science teacher taught back in elementary - You can’t see it. You can’t touch it. But the law of gravity is there.

Friends, there is another law as universal as the Law of Gravity. It’s called the Law of Giving. The Bible says, “You will always harvest what you plant”.

If I plant one mango seed and it becomes a tree, that tree will give me 6,000 mango fruits in its lifetime. If I smile rarely, I’ll receive smiles rarely too. If I smile a lot, I’ll receive a lot of smiles too.

In Luke 6:38 it says, “Give, and it will be given to you. The amount you give will determine the amount you receive.”

Give Love. Give Hope. Give Time. Give Treasure. Give Happiness. Give Affirmations.

And remember the Law of Giving – IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU…

JaN

My 18 Roses (most controversial entry by far) The EPILOGUE

2008-12-03T22:32:00.001-08:00

Today’s December 4 and today is my birthday! YEY! Thank you Lord for the 23 wonderful years of my life! May I do the Lord’s will in my life.

I would to like to start the Epilogue by thanking everyone who joined me in my journey throughout this crazy 18 roses series. For those who gave their advices and fraternal corrections, thank you so much! I am now a better person because I have experienced so much love from your text messages, YM chats, comments and personal confrontations.

I really would like to include my co-pentacords – Mayi, Trina, and Muriel – in this series but as I have mentioned in my first blog, they are like Mama and Jallyn, who are off the chart when it comes to beauty, brains and principles.

I would also like to thank Papa and Mama for sharing their thoughts with me about handling relationships. Also, I would like to thank Tito Rene and Tita Nelly for enforcing their fraternal correction on the wrong things I’ve done. They all shared their wisdom because they love and care for me.

I would like to thank Margie who patiently helps me construct my sentences in a way the readers would best appreciate what I write.

Lastly, I would like to thank my 17 Roses for teaching me lessons in life. Thank you for all the love, support, and guidance you’ve provided me all these years. All of you have a special place in my heart and I will continue to pray for your happiness.

Now to my 18^th rose:

You have all the qualities I love to have for a partner in life. You are simple in the sense that when you walk around you’d rather be unnoticed. You don’t smoke. You take care of your body – I mean, you have the shiniest shoulder length hair I’ve ever seen and it smells great too; you make sure that your nails are always clean (maybe you know I have a fetish for that).

Thank you because you allow me to eat a lot but at the same time you inspire me to exercise a lot as well – actually double of what I’ve eaten.

Thanks for being open-minded – I mean, you are humble, you can adjust to my dominant character, and not hard to please. The funny thing is that you look forward eating at Jollibee, Mcdo or any fastfood chains for a date. You even suggested Jollijip one time. Amazing! I’m also surprised that you are comfortable when riding the MRT, LRT, buses, tricycles, jeepneys and other public vehicles.

On top of all these, you are a God-fearing person. You are close to your family and you create a family to the people you are with each day.

On my side – you can make me go weak on my knees for a simple smile (yeah! You do!). Thank you for accepting me wholly – you love my family and friends. You know my past sins but you don’t focus on it because it’s who am I today that’s important to you.

You understand what I do for my community – Thank you affirming me every time. Thanks for helping me prepare some of the PowerPoints for my talks. Hehe!

You put a smile on my face when you tell me that you mention my name to God when you say your prayer. Thanks for appreciating what I do for you, no matter how small or how big it may be – hugging me when I give you a bouquet of roses or just laughing at my corniest jokes. HAHA!

Thank you for trusting me as well – for sharing me your problems and for listening to what I have to say. When we walk around, you allow me to hold your hand then we embrace when no one is looking because we’re both not the PDA type.

You do your best in your field of expertise because you do it with great love. When you have problems, you cry for a while but then you take full responsibility. You take action.

You have the softest voice in the phone – it makes me love you even more. You are smart and converse very well – conversations that don’t get old no matter what you say. I believe that this is very important. Imagine, 50 years from now, our bodies will be old and weak but since you’re so good at communicating, your presence will always be felt.

When we have arguments, you make sure that your point is heard. I’m blessed because we share the same principle on not focusing on the problem but more on focusing on the lessons that the problem is telling us.

We also share the same principle when it comes with sexual purity – that we should explore our minds first before we explore our bodies. We will preserve it and give it to each other on day of our wedding.

When I see you worship the Lord during prayer meetings, I see a child of God, thirsty for the embrace of Jesus.

Lastly, you love me next to God and to your family. Your love tank is full – so full you can’t contain it and I’m one of the first persons to be poured out and being the recipient of that love. Thank you! I love you!

People, she is my 18^th rose, and she is still on my mind. Yeah! Maybe she’s one of the first 17, maybe I’ve met her but the Lord is still preparing her, or maybe I have not met her yet at all. I just like to picture my life with her.

It might a demanding list from a person like me. Ok… so let me trim it down to three qualities I would like her to have: her love for herself, her love for God and her love for me. That’s it!

When she has these qualities – she’s living a full life and enjoying it every minute. She’s going out to places, she’s meeting new friends, she’s expanding her territories, she has learned the art of happiness, and she’s loving.

Formula:

Loving Man + Loving Woman = Loving Marriage

I love it. It’s so simple and so true. It’s so flexible too.

Happy Man + Happy Woman = Happy Marriage

Responsible Man + Responsible Woman = Responsible Marriage

Hey! I’m not planning to get married anytime soon. I’m only 23 years old today. Maybe 6 years from now. Is that long? I don’t think so because I want to talk to a lot of women; I want to have many friendly dates as humanly possible; I want to learn the art of being attractive; I want to enter to the process of courtship – yes I do want to go to her house and let her family know that my intentions are pure; also I want to save and invest for our future; and while doing these things I will trust God and enjoy life to its fullest.

May our dreams come true,

JaN

My 18 Roses (most controversial entry by far) Part 6 of 6

2008-11-26T21:28:00.000-08:00

SIXTEENTH – 22

I believe God used you so I know how it feels to be heartbroken.

I’ve already written 4 blog entries about you – A Sad Entry; God’s Wisdom Revealed; The seminar, the crazy taxi driver, and the eye opener; The Power of Bi-Ref.

I’ve met you 2 years ago when I served YLSS # 1 in Lipa. It never crossed my mind that after 2 years our roads will cross again and give love a chance.

The love I have for you is true. We admitted that we love each other after some months of dating. You asked for two things from me – first is to give you some time to put a closure between you and your ex-boyfriend and second is that you wanted to introduce me to your family after graduating college as a guy who is courting you – which I agreed. I agreed because I respect some fathers who, like my father, is very strict when it comes to their daughters having relationships – AFTER COLLEGE!

But my insecurity killed me. Your family has a lot of properties and a successful business. For the next couple of days, I kept telling you, I won’t be as rich as your dad. That I was just small, a nobody. I can’t provide how your family provides you – and all other comments that made me look like a foolish jerk.

I’ve seen myself unworthy to have you because you are beautiful, rich, and smart. Later on, I compared the life you’ll have with your ex and with me – making it appear that you’ll have a better life with him because his family is rich as well.

Bottom line, I focused on the things I don’t have and as of a result, I didn’t love myself anymore and I ended up hurting you. I was taking in all the love you have for me until one day, there was nothing left to absorb. Then came the day you did not want me in your life anymore. It came to that point where you admitted that you still have feelings for your ex. Until that fateful day when you told me you got back together with him again and you told me he is the one you love and you won’t try loving anyone else again.

This series of events broke my heart like everything happened so fast, I didn’t know what hit me. I wrote a lot of realizations on the blogs I mentioned above.

Now I know how it feels when people say their broken hearted. I’m now able to understand how painful it feels and how hard it is to let go and move on.

But hey! I might have lost you but I didn’t lose the lesson.

I allowed myself to shed tears. I asked the Lord to give me wisdom through this experience. I just gave myself time to rest, get God’s perspective on this situation and now I’m more open to God’s surprise! Lord, surprise me!

16^th rose, thank you for everything you’ve done. I thought we had it but the Lord has a different plan. I still love you and I still care for you. Everything I’ve learned with my journey with you – I will treasure it. God bless you in your studies and relationships. Till we see each other again.

SEVENTEENTH - 22

I haven’t mentioned you to anyone, not even to my cell group.

You are one of those dolphins I knew (informal person; happy go lucky type; just going with the flow where life brings you). Not like me – everything needs to be in order and everything needs to have a plan before to do something. The first time I saw you was last summer; you’ve already captured my eyes because you were extremely playful. I’m only 4 months older than you but ohhh man you look like 16 years old – extremely baby face.

This impressed me – that even though you are playful and childish sometimes, the moment I ask you about IT-related questions, I’ve heard the most intelligent answers I could possibly hear.

The last time we met with some friends was during our outing at Antipolo, and that night, we had a drinking session. We already had a few rounds of hard drinks late that time. I guess it was around 2am already. Jan – malakas ulit ang loob kapag naka-inom. But I was still in control.

I was asked if you were my only reason of joining the outing - I said YES. Hehe. But what surprised me more was your answer to their question – if I ask you out on a date, would you come with me – you said YES. Hehe… Hallelujah!

You are simple. Childlike. Hindi maarte! Always smiling! You can take the weight of the world from people’s shoulders when they are with you because you can just play around; your aura would light up people’s moods and everything will be ok. The best part is - you never had a boyfriend.

Now, I’m texting and calling you… making you feel that you are important to me. But I don’t want to go fast. I’ve learned my lesson. So far, you have the qualities I pictured as a girlfriend. I’ll get to know you more each day, ok?!

The time will come that I’m perfectly healed from my 16^th rose; that I’ve learned to love myself more and more each day; I’ve regained hope from all my problems… That time will not be too far from now. I pray that when that time comes, you will be there, ready accept what I have to offer.

*****

That’s it! Part 6 of 6! Amazing! I hope that you’ve learned a lot through my stories. I want to say thank you to all the people who’ve shared their advices to me as they read my experiences.

I can feel that the Lord wants me to write these realizations for a reason. My readers – you are the reason.

In my life, I’ve always believed that the Lord allows me to experience difficulties, He allows me to lose, to win, to cry, to laugh so that I can realize a lot of things. Through the realizations, I will take action to move forward. With God in my heart and my principles attached to my soul, I will take charge of my life. I will win this life. Amen!

You might be wondering where the part 18^th rose is. Who’s the 18^th rose? Check it out in my next blog entry My 18 Roses (most controversial entry by far) – The EPILOGUE. It will be posted on my 23^rd birthday – December 4, 2008. ENJOY!

JaN

My 18 Roses (most controversial entry by far) Part 5 of 6

2008-11-23T20:04:00.000-08:00

I’m down to my last 6 roses. I’ve got a mixture of positive and negative feedbacks from my friends so far.

I’m glad that Papa and Mama are readers of my blog. They’ve already given me fantastic advices on the mistakes of my past. I also got fraternal corrections from the friends I love and trust. These counsels hit me so hard that I’ll be keeping it as a reminder not to do the wrong things I’ve done again.

Some people are still asking my purpose for writing this series of blog entries. Maybe they have not read the first part where I said: I want to share with you the 18 significant women who have affected or are still affecting my life in a positive way. I’m not really sure if this is a good idea but this blog entry is not to boast that I have met a lot of women already but to share the learnings and realizations I had with them.

Let me now share my 13^th, 14^th, and 15^th roses.

THIRTEENTH – 21

Saying hi to you was my purpose for visiting Starbucks until days went on and I realized that I was already able to get my first ever Starbucks planner.

I still remember the night I first saw you. I had an 11pm-8am shift so around 10pm I went in Starbucks located below the office with my officemate to buy some drinks. You were the barista in the counter. I told you my order: a venti caramel frappuccino. I don’t usually look at baristas very closely. I just say my order, you guys get my name then I go to the waiting bar and wait for my name to be called.

But it was different this time – I looked at you, told you my order, and to my surprise you looked at me and “genuinely” smiled as you took my order. You still had that smile when you gave me my change and my banoffee pie. You asked me if I wanted to avail a sticker for your Starbucks planner 2008 promo card. I was about to say no because of two things: one, I didn’t know anything about this promo and two, because I’m not a Starbucks drinker. Truth is, I was and still am a Seattle’s Best fanatic. Javanilla Shake is the best! Hahaha!

So anyway, I remember how you excitedly explained how the promo goes – that every time I buy a holiday or regular beverage, I am entitled to a sticker and once complete, I can avail a free planner. Then I already went to the waiting area. I looked at you and I saw you still looking at me and still smiling. I grew conscious of looking at you because every time I do, I can still see that smile of yours that goes from ear to ear. My face would turn to a blushing red but still I try to keep myself composed.

My officemate noticed it as well. She said: JC, sarap ng ngiti sayo ni ----- ah... Smile kung smile! Then as I went out the store, I looked back at the counter, and I saw you looking at me with that smile I’ve begun to like. AWESOME!

For the next nights, I would spend a minimum of Php140 just for me to see you at the counter while you smile at me. Ang sarap tignan ng smile mo! Genuine! There were some nights when you were not the barista at the counter. So the barista there would call your name out loud so you’d be the one to take my order. Hehe…

Later, I realized that I already have my first Starbucks planner even before December 2007 and got two more before the promo ended which I gave each to Mama and to my sister. Addicted to coffee? NO! I’m addicted to your smile!

You are my 13^th rose! Because of you, my difficult work in the IT Helpdesk before can be perfectly lightened up because someone genuinely smiled at me. You became my inspiration to make a decision to genuinely give a smile to someone everyday.

For those reading my blog now, I invite you as well to make a decision to genuinely smile everyday - to your family, friends, schoolmates, officemates and all other organizations.

To smile is a gift.

Be a gift to others. SMILE!

FOURTEENTH – 21

- DELETED -

FIFTEENTH – 22

You are the 2^nd girl I introduced to Mama as my girlfriend. For those who didn’t know, YES I had a girlfriend early this year. Let me now tell the story.

I remember the first time you called our hotline and asked for help with your PC problem. I was asking for your employee number but you paused for some seconds and I thought you hung up on me already. I didn’t realize you were still there, you just weren’t sure of what to answer.

Your keyboard was not working. The foolish side of me was too lazy to help a girl who was so slow of giving me her employee number; I didn’t even bother to troubleshoot it. Instead, I asked you to go from the 19^th floor to the 45^th floor to have your keyboard replaced – which you did. But when you returned to your station, it still didn’t work. You called again, this time our specialist was able to answer it, and your problem was solved in less than 5 minutes. Shame on me!

You tagged me as the IT guy who made you go all the way up to the 45^th floor and still not able to solve the issue. Actually, a huge percentage of your team tagged me as the flirty IT guy. Maybe my mistake as well because I just wanted to help and add that little sweetness to my voice so the mad employee on the other line would calm down. Most people knew me to be helpful but I can’t satisfy them all.

As the days went on, we became friends - I helped you with any IT-related issues and you helped me with any concern I have in your department.

There was this time that I was joking you around like Ihanap mo naman ako ng date o… 2 years na ako walang date eh… I didn’t know that you took it seriously. You set me up for a blind date with your friend in college who is also in search for a date – it was my first time to do it. That was also the day I first saw you. But ooooh boy! Your friend is so beautiful, sexy, hot and she was wearing a dress (not the typical maong and blouse but a dress) – sorry to sound ignorant but this is my first time and last time so far to date someone this gorgeous. But your friend and I didn’t click and I’m happy to know that she’s very happy with her boyfriend right now. Hehe!

We became best of friends since then. We started talking on the phone and exchanging quotes that eventually became sweet text messages. Until the day I could no longer contain what I felt for you and admitted that I love you. On February 29 of this year you accepted what I have to offer. You became my girlfriend.

FYI – Feb 29 was my last day in my first job as well.

I was so happy that time – that after 2 years of waiting, at last the Lord gave me another person I can love romantically. I saw you as a gift from God - a treasure. But at the back of my mind, having a girlfriend meant having time for her, especially when the relationship is new.

As the days went on, we found ourselves having limited time for each other – it took so much effort from your part for us to meet considering you lived far from me. Apart from the already busy schedule this time of year in the community, I was also starting out in my second job, learning everything in the field of software-testing.

We also realized there was too much pride between us. Neither of us would concede to any argument. I was not able to appreciate all your efforts. And I was focusing on every attitude I didn’t like about you and that would start a fight. Then after 2 months, we just felt like – what did we get ourselves into? And because we did not believe in cool-offs, we decided to break it up.

After some months after our break up I just tried to chat with you through YM to check if we were already ok. Thank God because our approach was positive, we are in good terms.

My 15^th rose, I’m sorry for every hurt I’ve caused you. You know what? I’m happy because we gave it a try. I’ve learned a lot.

For the record – you gave me the inspiration to start blogging. You are so great in speaking and writing English. Idol kita! During my first entries, you would correct every wrong grammar and even wrong spelling that I omit. That’s why now I don’t have that luxury anymore that you would help me - before I even post a blog entry I consult a friend – wait, I mean a lot of friends to check out the topic that I’ll write, the grammar, the sentence construction and spelling so that in case you will read it, I wouldn’t be humiliated.

Thank you for coming in life… I’ll be forever proud that loving you is one of the best feelings in this world.

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Amen! Last 3 roses!

For all the readers of this series of blog entries – I hope you’re getting something fruitful out of my stories. And if you have anything to say, good or bad, please leave a comment – this will affirm me in any way that you feel bless from what I’m sharing or just give me your thoughts and your advices…

JaN

My 18 Roses (most controversial entry by far) Part 4 of 6

2008-11-17T00:56:00.000-08:00

People have raised questions of whether the details of my blog are true or not. I received some text messages from the other roses telling their sides to me. I’m sorry if there were some points in the entries that you did not like because you had no clue that it happened.

If ever there would be things in these entries that aren’t inline with your stories, please keep in mind that this is MY SIDE OF THE STORY.

Also, my faithfulness to a girl is being questioned. That’s the risk I have to take in writing this realizations. The risk I have to take to tell my story.

I don’t want to keep my sins to myself and act as if I’m a preacher and a leader who does not commit mistakes, who does not fall into temptation, who does not do bad things.

I’m Jan and I’m a sinner just like you (reading this blog). That’s why we are all qualified to accept the healing power of God and enter to His Kingdom.

TENTH – 18

You are the crush of all my crushes. If ever I’ll have to chance to show what I feel for you, I’ll do it.

I already recognized you the very moment you walked in the doors of Oppen Building. You had a soft looking face, an athletic built, shoulder length hair and ohhh man your smile was simply attractive.

You were invited by your friend to join YLSS 24 in our community then the next year you became part of the food ministry. During that time that we were serving, I wanted to know you more and let you know that I have this special thing for you. But I couldn’t because I was still involved with my girlfriend that time and what I know is that you still had a boyfriend that time.

I was looking for ways to get your number because I want to be in contact with you but asking it from you directly would mean a different thing since everybody knew I had a girlfriend. So what I did was that I called the food ministry head and asked for the list of all the members with their contact numbers. Hahaha. Style!

I texted you right away after the YLSS.

As we were texting, you shared with me that you and your boyfriend had a bad breakup and you were still sort of putting yourself together. You would be my textmate from 11pm-2am and that keeps me awake from my boring night shift. Then as the nights went on, we started asking each other if we miss each other, then you wanted to join the Youth Camp for you to see me in my short shorts but you couldn’t because the camp’s second day was Mother’s Day. FYI, me and my 8^th rose already broke up before the Youth Camp 2006.

If it was a full moon at night, I would text you so you’ll know I’m happy. You told me that whenever you had problems, you’d feel at ease and peaceful just by looking at the full moon and that you know a friend is also looking up there with you. That’s me! Haha…

You would call me “Your big guy”…. “Your Teddy Bear Man”…

But you being in the Volleyball Team in your school prevented you to attend our Saturday’s Prayer Meeting. You promised to attend once your Saturday is free but for more than a year now, you still haven’t attended. I just learned from a friend of yours that you got back together with your boyfriend.

Missing you terribly one time, I Googled your name – the first link was your Friendster account then as I browsed the link in that page I saw this news:

A few minutes later, --- -------, after taking to the air for a twisting spike landed awkwardly and let out a shriek of terrible pain that quieted the gym. It took a few minutes to carry her off the court. With two of their starters down and out for the game (and in -------’s case maybe the rest of the season as she was initially diagnosed with an ACL injury)

You were diagnosed with an ACL injury after a bad landing. I was really worried after reading this article so I called you but you did not answer; I texted you but got no reply. Since you were not responding, I texted you a prayer.

Months later, I saw in your Friendster account the pictures from your injury. It was really a terrible injury but don’t worry… you have me as your prayer warrior. Ok?!

You know what? I was missing you so much, I thought I saw you in the Souled Out concert in Bagaberde last August – I even wrote a blog about it titled My Souled Out Experience. Look it up in the August archives.

This is where I experienced that even though there would be reasons why I can’t be with you, one thing is for sure, that I’ll continue to pray for you. Pray that you’re safe and healthy.

I want to be us. I know deep inside my heart, you’re still there, waiting for you to accept what I have to offer.

Dear, remember the full moon. Whenever you find yourself in pain or in trouble, just look at the full moon. And every time you look at it, remember you got me, looking at it with you.

ELEVENTH – 19

I don’t know what story you told your father but oh boy, he threatened to kill me!

At last! First day of work in my former company! Training! There were only two girls who caught my eyes in the whole training period but you were my bigger crush because you had long and silky hair (I admit it I easily get attracted with girls with long and neatly styled hair), a beautiful body, and have the sweetest voice.

During the training I knew you caught me looking at you from time to time. But for you, I can’t be more than a friend because you knew I had a girlfriend that time and you don’t want to settle for second best.

After the last day of training our batch went out for some drinks in one of the bars in Araneta. I drank a lot that night and there’s no friend (one like Didoy) to watch over me. I told everyone that I’ll be the one who’ll bring you home. We were at the back of the cab. With alcohol in my body I had the courage to I hold your hand, and as I was about to kiss you, you backed up and told me Jan, you’re drunk! Immediately, I apologized and you said, it’s ok… (Boys, be careful when you have a lot to drink. We tend to be overconfident about things.)

After that night, I always made a gesture like touching your hair, tapping your back, and holding your hand before my shifts start. (ohh boy.. these are solid grounds to file a sexual harassment against me... what was I thinking... very stupid move Jan... Boys, don't do this especially in work place - THIS IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT! This is a lesson learned for me..) Until one day you were fed up and you texted me saying I should stop all the PDAs I’m doing, that I have a girlfriend and you don’t want people in the office misinterpreting us. You asked me to show you some respect.

I told you I’m sorry and never to bother you again. After 6 months (Aug 2005-Feb 2006) I was based from Quezon City to Makati. And we never saw each other for the next 6 months (Mar 2006-Sept 2006). But last October 2006, I was accepted in the IT Helpdesk Team of our company; their office is located in QC so I went back there and of course, saw you again.

This time, I was very careful and did not even dare to come near you. I tried to check if we were still close that’s why I affirmed you for keeping your hair very nice and asked you if we’re already OK and you’ve already forgiven me for my past mistakes, which you told me we were OK.

Then around February of 2007, around 9am, a call woke me up from an unknown number. Unknown numbers are usually on-call numbers from IT, and with that in mind, I answered the call. But I was surprised that it was your dad.

He said things like: ANG BASTOS MO! ALAM KO ANG GINAWA MO SA KANYA DATI SA TAXI! BALAK MO PA HALIKAN ANAK KO! PAPATAYIN KITA! IPAPA-PICK UP KITA! HAYOP KA! BAKIT MO SASABIHIN SA ANAK KO NA ANG GANDA NG BUHOK NIYA? WALA KANG PAKE! P.I. SUNTUKAN TAYO KUNG GUSTO MO HAYOP KA! SINO KA PARA PAIYAKIN ANG ANAK KO? IYAK SIYA NG IYAK KAGABI DAHIL SA MGA PINAGSASABI MO! AYAW NA NIYA PUMASOK SA OFFICE DAHIL SA MGA MANYAK NA KATULAD MO! P.I MO HAYOP KA!

He repeated those lines over and over again. Take note this is around nine in the morning. This really woke me up. Well I told your dad that I’m sorry for the things I’ve done in the past (past is like last year 2005). I told him that I thought you already forgave me and that we were OK; that I’m ready to face him to talk about the conflicts; and I also shouted at him; told him not to threaten my life and get the facts straight from you. He told me I made you cry last night. I don’t even remember texting you and or come near you that night. I don’t know what I’ve done to you to make you not want to go to the office.

I don’t know what story you told your dad but, man, the death threat was more than I could bear. But hey! I can't blame him because he loves you and he was just protecting you from guys like me. This is the first time and hopefully the last that I’ll be receiving a death threat. Now I know the feeling of getting threatened!

After this incident, I sent you a text message; apologizing again for all the bad things I’ve done, for all the misunderstandings, for all the confusion, and clarified some things that I couldn’t understand from what your dad said. At the same time I wanted to thank you for teaching me a lesson, even if it was in the most brutal and threatening way.

Now, I heard that you already have a boyfriend and you are still working in the same account. I wish you all the happiness in this life. God bless you in your career.

TWELFTH - 21

I didn’t recognize you were this beautiful until that time you helped me handle the funds.

You were in and out of the prayer meetings since our YLSS 8 years ago. Whenever you attend, you were either with your own group of friends or with the guy who’s courting you that time. For me, you were just one of those girls in the community who I don’t know much. All I knew then was that that you’re rich and you’re a materialistic person.

But when you attended the Prayer Meetings regularly, the Pentacord (knowing well you were in and out of the meetings) decided to give you a responsibility so that you’ll be obligated to attend every Saturday, which you gladly accepted…or did I leave you without any choice but to accept it? Haha!

You might not notice it but all the lambs assigned to you are those who were rich and Englisera (nose bleed to the max). Thank God we have someone like you who can put up with them.

You assisted me in handling the funds and I’m so blessed working with you. Every cash in and cash out was properly recorded and we were able to save some for the expenses of the Youth Camp 2007. You taught me how to record things especially when it comes to money.

I still remember the event in Marikina wherein you took the lead in selling the drinks in the middle of the heat of the sun. Late in the afternoon you even went to the other side of the field just to sell drinks to people we don’t even know so we can bring in more money for the YLSS. What surprised me the most is that you returned to our stall perspiring hard, as in your face was so red and you were sweating so hard because of the heat but you were still smiling and proudly presented me the money you gathered from your labor. Amazing effort!

There was this rummage sale that I don’t want to continue anymore because nobody will come from the working team but you said, Ano ka ba, Jan?! Nagising ako ng maaga para dito tapos hindi mo itutuloy! Ituloy na natin sayang din ang kikitain! I picked you up in Market! Market! then brought you home after the rummage sale.

Being with you allowed me to know you more; you were not materialistic after all – you knew how to save to buy the things that you need. You opened to me the hurts you may have to the people closest you. You trusted me with some of your weaknesses and sickness. You shared me the difficulty of transferring from one school to the other.

I discovered that you are a girlfriend material; not hard to please and easy to get along with. Marunong sa buhay!

I don’t know who’s courting you right now or if one of the twins is courting you but I’ll be very happy if there would be something special between you and one of the twins. If you’ll end up being with the guy whose been courting you like since birth, I’ll be happy as well. Or with the people we know in the community, I’ll be happy too.

This is controversial. That’s why I’m writing it. HAHA!

****

This is awesome! I'm almost done! 12 down, 6 to go!

JaN

My 18 Roses (most controversial entry by far) Part 3 of 6

2008-11-11T02:48:00.000-08:00

SEVENTH – 16

You are the definition of “the right love at the wrong time” in my life because I had a girlfriend and you had a boyfriend. Yet we decided to give our feelings for each other a chance.

Your cousins asked me if I can help you out in your community service. You were 2 years older than me but the first thing I noticed was how cute you were – 5’3” in height, small built, nice smile with lip gloss, and your perfume smelled really sweet. I remember spraying some of it on my handkerchief so that if I’ll miss you, I’ll just smell it.

I can’t resist looking at your soft innocent face, so I make time to visit you during your community service. Because I saw you almost everyday, I began to like you. Then before your number of hours was complete we were not able to hide what we felt for each other.

We really had no formal conversation that we were already in the bf/gf relationship but we were making excuses to our partners just to meet up. We would go to movies, eat dinner, text a lot during the day, and talk on the phone. There was this time that I was talking on the phone with my girlfriend but the moment you text me, I’d make up an excuse and tell her that I need to do something in the house when the truth was that I was going to call you. Sama ko! We would talk about our day, the negative sides of our current relationships – heck we’d even flirt on the phone.

So far, you had the smallest lips I’ve ever kissed. Yeah. Small and Soft.

I remember there was this party that my group organized then you showed up there – that surprised me. I know you knew that my girlfriend was there. Knowing her to be a possessive girl, you just stayed far enough just for me to see you. I can’t even come close to you because my girlfriend wants me to stay with her the whole party. This is funny – late in the evening, maybe around 11:30 PM, your boyfriend came to fetch you. You introduced me to him as your friend - the one who helped you with your community service. We shook hands and both of you left. I remember we looked at each other before you closed the door of his car.

I couldn’t remember why we never formally became a couple. I could only remember there was that time you were crying on the phone because of me but I can’t seem to recall now why. I’m sorry. One thing was for sure, my girlfriend and I broke up and I had another girlfriend when I got to college…but our communication never stopped. One text from you and I would be there to meet you. It’s really unclear. I can’t really remember the details.

We would still send text quotes from time to time and I always look forward chatting with you when I’m on night shift. I even remember requesting my supervisors to put me on night shift for 6 months because I knew that you would be online every night.

Now you are married and have given birth to your baby girl 4 months ago. To be honest, I really don’t know what to feel but I guess I’m happy for you. I still find you cute and hot in your wedding dress but I need to take off any intentions I have for you. We still chat from time to time when I’m still up late at night then you are starting your shift. I try my best not to be sweet with you anymore because you are already married. I kept thinking, Jan, she’s married. Ok?! OK!

I’m happy we are still friends.

Lesson learned - At the end of the day, 3rd party relationships do not work. I slightly – slightly – disagree with Bob Ong when he said “Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una” You know why?

Time will come that you’ll meet a woman other than your current partner and then you’ll find 10% of the qualities that your current partner lacks. Then you will find all the negative qualities of your current partner. You are so focused on the 10% good qualities of the 3rd party that you’ll end up forgetting about the 90% that your true love has.

Don’t be impulsive. Heart and mind should work together especially when it comes to relationships.

I thank you because I know I have a friend in you. I pray for a healthy relationship between you, your husband and your daughter.

EIGHTH – 17

You are the first girlfriend I introduced to my family.

First day high! At last college! I promised myself to focus on my studies – no failing subjects and no girlfriends because it’s a quarterm system, everything will be fast and I’ll be a young professional after 3 years.

No failing subjects? No girlfriends? – I ate my words. Lesson learned early that I should keep my words soft and sweet just in case I need to eat them someday.

I met you at school. You were the cute girl with the long and curly hair. You looked like Kristine Hermosa that time. Hehe.. ok ok until now! Every time you’re in the lobby, the basketball varsity players of our school would surround you. Haba ng hair mo diba?! No other normal guy in the school would dare to court you because they knew they’d be competing against 6-footer giants. But I told myself, if there would be any chance that I’ll be able to court you, I’ll do it.

During the second semester, you became my best bud’s classmate. Moreover, you guys became groupmates in one of your projects. It was my chance - I asked my best bud to get your number and he gave it to me. I didn’t know that time that it was your birthday when I first texted you. After some weeks, I asked if we could meet up in the lobby, then after 6 months of letting you feel that I had intentions for you – you became my girlfriend. Was it fast or slow?

Let me tell you some details during those 6 months – November ‘02, December ‘02, January ‘03, February ‘03, March ‘03, and April ‘03.

February 14, 2003 – Valentine’s Day. I bought 3 scented flower candles and a card for you. The scented flowers were placed in a box. I didn’t want to give you real flowers because the real ones will just last a couple of weeks. But the scented flower candles can be used as displays in the house and can be useful when needed. Practical lang talaga ako! I was planning to give it to you after our Math class. But in the middle of the class, the basketball player who was also courting you knocked on the door of our classroom asking for you to come out. You came back in with this bouquet of beautiful flowers in your hands. It was truly a lovely bouquet compared to my three scented flower candles.

It’s just like that movie starring the Rico Yan-Judy Ann Santos-Wowie De Guzman triangle. Wowie was going to give Judy Ann a handful of flowers but then Rico Yan gave her that wonderful bouquet that was ten times more than Wowie’s handpicked flowers.

I went home after class that day feeling small, disheartened.

I gave you the flowers on February 16. Thank God you joyfully accepted them. I can’t exactly remember what I said but I know I was being dramatic that time.

Then we still got to know each for 2 months then we became boyfriend and girlfriend.

You may wonder why it took six months? Because I wanted to know you as a whole person – your family, your group of friends, how you talk to people, your study habits, the food you eat, your prayer life… and all other characteristics. I wanted to get to know you. If I could accept all of that and you could accept me for who am I then that would be the time I’ll make my last move to ask you to be my girlfriend.

One of the things I love is that you sing whenever I show affection. The first song you sang to me was “Angel of Mine”. Beautiful voice! Kakain-love talaga.

We both joined the Mr. and Miss IT pageant and both won it. We represented the IT department of our school. I didn’t know I was this handsome. Thanks to you! Hahaha…

But sin also came our way but thank God we were able to resist the temptation and keep our promise – to save our virginity for that one person for us. That’s the best gift we can give to our future spouses.

My Saturday afternoons did not belong to you. Not like a normal college couple, those times are usually hangout times – movies, lunch, merienda, dinner.

My Saturday afternoons belong to the BLD Youth Prayer Meeting. I told myself that I won’t bring a girl in the community unless I’m very sure that she’s the last one. But you insisted me to let you join in the prayer meetings – but your motive was different because you were checking out if I had another girl in the community.

Just to spare another fight on the phone, I brought you in one of the Bring-a-Friend days during the YLSS 24 Season. The Lord really worked in you because I saw a different you after the YLSS. You became part of the Praise Vocals, you became a Shepherd then you also invited your sister and other friends to join. You made a lot of friends in the community. Amazing!

But after graduation, we find ourselves lacking time for each other. I was already working in a call center while you were also busy in finishing your studies. I was almost always at night shift while you were looking for work. It was almost impossible for us to talk on the phone like before. Then we began not understanding each other. I am always busy doing things for the community and family during the weekend. We start demanding for time which both of us find it hard to give. Then I was also involved with other ladies in our office who sort of became an outlet or release of my attention and care which were supposed to be for you. Then we fight with those kinds of issues again. The foolish me!

I’m sorry we had to end what we had. There are a lot of reasons that I’m comfortable sharing this in my blog – the whole thing is my fault. We ended our relationship with little misunderstandings but we got through it. After almost three years since we broke up, I know you’re happy now and that we’re still friends.

I pray that you’ll be able to find the right guy who will love you wholly and unconditionally. I hope your next would be your last. You deserve the best, my dear.

NINTH – 18

I already wrote an entry about you – Titled: My Cinderella. Let me just add to that blog entry.

You came into my life during my preparatory years. I’ll forever cherish that time we danced on stage – I was your Prince Charming while you played Cinderella. But why did I place 18 in the age section? This is why.

In the latter months of 2003, we saw each other in Friendster, then started sending messages asking if I still remember you – I was kind of surprised seeing you again after more than 10 years, we exchanged mobile numbers and decided to meet in Rockwell last February 2004. If you’ll do the Math, yes, I asked her out while I’m still involved with my 8th rose. There would be times like this that I’m not being honest with my current relationship.

Also, I really wanted to meet you because for the longest time, I haven’t seen you. And you were so lovely in Friendster. I didn’t want the chance of seeing you personally to pass. When we met, you were extremely gorgeous that time – simple make up, green top, black skinny jeans - you really know how to dress. We ate at Delifrance. I still have the picture card we took. I know I enjoyed the movie we watched. Haha. I can’t even remember what movie it was because my focus was on you. I couldn’t help but look at you as I smelled your scent. I enjoyed our simple date but I also felt uneasy thinking someone who knows my girlfriend might see us. I might get caught. Looked like no one did. Rockwell! You are an awesome place for a simple date because you have a greatest restaurants and movie houses plus it’s not that crowded. Galing!

Very memorable - before I dropped you off your house, we kissed good night. For me I just wanted to end the night with a memorable note, for you it was your way of saying thank you. It was my first and last time to kiss someone with a pierce on her tongue. It was a different experience for me. I could just feel the metal while…you know. Hahaha…

I did not have the chance to take you out again because your family moved to a different place. Sometimes, we’d still see each other in Rockwell on Sundays when I’m there with my family and you with your boyfriend.

I know you are happy with him now and I’m also happy searching for the girl for me. I still look at your Friendster account from time to time. I can see your gimiks, bars, smoke and drinking sessions posted in your account. I even saw pictures of you with your bikini attire on the ramp.

You are really something but that’s not my life at all.

My Cinderella story did not have a “happily ever after” but surely it was a happy ending.

In the little time we had, I found out that we can’t be together because we didn’t have common things that will help build and last a relationship.

My principle - In finding a partner, be sure TO FIND someone who shares with me my values, vision and passions.

So Cinderella, if you are reading this blog, I want you to know that I’m happy for you and you’ll always have a special place in my heart. God bless…

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Alright, I’m halfway through my series of blog entries. I’m allowing myself for you to know me more… all my mistakes and addictions when it comes to relationships. I’ve opened my life in this aspect! It’s all there. You’ll be surprised with 2nd half of this series. Who knows? You might be one of them.

9 down, 9 to go…

JaN